This is completely unacceptable! This has been the longest I believe I have ever gone without blogging! Well hopefully that will not be the case this year. One of my goals for this year (I make goals for the new year instead of resolutions) is to blog at least twice a month. I want to stay in better contact with the people in my life. So I will try my hardest to be committed to this.
I had a busy fall. I submitted my questions for commissioning the day before my birthday. I am supposed to meet with the board of ordained ministry sometime between February 7 and 9 to interview. Then I should find out if I will be commissioned in June. It sure was a relief to get all that stuff done, and I felt pretty good about most of it. I also had my second charge conference in October and it went well. And then it was time to get ready to celebrate the holiday season, and boy, did we ever have a busy one! But it was very nice and very enjoyable.
On Thanksgiving, I got pretty sick. In fact, we left my mom's early because I was flushed, nauseous, light-headed and had a horrible headache. One week later, on December 1, I turned a pregnancy test positive! Matt and I are having a baby! I suspected I might be. One test before that was negative and another one looked like it might want to turn positive, but I was unsure. It was wonderful to wake Matt up that morning (he works 2nd shift now), and say "hey, look at this!" We are so excited. But I am a little nervous given my last experience.
We told Matt's parents and my sister. I had a plan to tell my parents in a different way. I ordered Josh a shirt that said "I have a secret" on the front, and on the back it says "I'm going to be a big brother." I figured my mom would like that. I knew it would be hard to win her over after my last experience. She thinks I can't handle being pregnant. Well, our plans changed on December 8. I started bleeding and cramping. We went to spend about 9 hours in the ER just to find out my pregnancy hormone levels were low and I could be miscarrying. My appointment with my OB was for the 12th. I was put on bedrest for the weekend, and I worried. I had to tell my parents then because we needed them to keep Josh. I couldn't lift him.
At my OB appointment on the 12th, we found out that there was no pregnancy in my uterus on the 8th, but she found it on the 12th. She took blood to test my hormone levels on Monday and I went back that Wednesday for more blood work. My pregnancy hormone continued to rise, which is what we wanted. We set an appointment for January 3 for another ultrasound. She said if there was no heartbear we would know where the pregnancy is headed. On January 3rd (also Matt's and my anniversary) we went to the OB. The ultrasound showed a baby that had started to look like a baby, and right away we found the heartbeat. I was so relieved! Thank God! I was measuring right about 9 weeks. That surprised my OB because she was expecting me to measure younger/earlier than what we initially thought (based on my cycle), but I really was only about 4-5 days off from counting from the first day of my last period. But we found the baby and the heartbeat and that is all that matters! My tentative due date is around August 9.
We are so excited and a little nervous at the same time. But we know God is in control. We were not actively trying. I felt that if God wanted me to have another biological child, he was going to have to make it happen. I feel much different about this pregnancy. Even though I had never been pregnant before, during my last pregnancy, something felt off the whole time. It didn't feel right, and it didn't surprise me that something was wrong. But this one feels much different, and no matter what, God is in control. We will most likely delivery Baby Baird 2 via c-section, even if he/she does not come early. I have a 70 -75% chance of having a successful vaginal delivery, but there is still that chance that I could have a uterine rupture and end up getting an emergency c-section anyway. Doing it this way, we can schedule our c-section (unless it comes early), know when the baby is coming, go in early in the morning and have a baby a few hours later. I like that. Plus having a c-section will allow my OB to deliver me instead of going back to a big practice that keeps a doctor in the hospital.
Those of you who know me well, or who have read my blogs, know I was upset about what I missed last time. Joshua was born at 33 1/2 weeks. I had started to dilate and efface, but no active labor. My water never broke. I had to have a c-section. And then I left my baby in the hospital for 37 days. I was sad and angry. But since then I have heard several people say I should be thankful I missed labor. I am still sad about missing out on natural birth, but I have had one c-section so I know what to expect. This time I plan to pick up some of the things I missed last time, while not being bitter about the c-section. I hope to give birth to a normal sized child as close to term as possible. And my other goal is to leave the hospital this summer with my newborn in my arms. I do not want to miss any of the firsts I missed while Josh was in the hospital. I don't want another child to have to be poked and prodded because of preeclampsia. I hope to follow my birth plan this time. But even if it doesn't work out the way I want it to, I know God is in control. He took care of Joshua and he will take care of our new angel.
I would appreciate your prayers throughout my pregnancy. So far, I have no symptoms of preeclampsia. It is early yet, but in my last pregnancy I had my first UTI by now. Please pray that no matter what we will have a healthy baby. Thank you!
