We had a wonderful Christmas with our little angel. It was so much more fun this year. Josh was able to open presents and to play with his new things. He understands about opening presents, although he seems to prefer playing with wrapping paper and boxes. And Mommy loves that Josh is young enough that he doesn't care if I buy him clothes!
Josh got so many nice new things. He honestly does not need anything! He is one spoiled little boy. But I feel thankful that we have so many people that love and care about us! Christmas isn't about the presents, it's about family, love, and giving to others, but most importantly, it is about Jesus! I can't wait until Josh is old enough to hear and understand the Christmas story and the true meaning of Christmas!
Josh had a busy Christmas! He went several places over a few days, and he got overwhelmed with his gifts. He saw so many people, and loved it. Josh just loves people. He saw Santa for the first time. Last Christmas he just came home from the hospital and wasn't supposed to go anywhere because of the flu. Josh fell in love with Santa. He rested his head on Santa's beard, and then he tried to give Santa his passie. It was so cute! I will have to add some pictures to Facebook soon!
Mommy and Daddy had a wonderful Christmas as well. But we really just enjoyed Josh. It was so much fun to watch him get so excited. And even more fun to watch him playing with his new toys ( I will add those pictures to Facebook as well). There is nothing like Christmas until you have Christmas with your child. It truly is priceless. I am so blessed and so thankful for all we have.
And we finished off our Christmas Day with snow. Josh isn't old enough to understand it, but it made Mommy and Daddy excited. Sunday we took Josh outside in it and got some pictures. He was really indifferent. He didn't like that the snow itself was cold. When we had him outside the wind was blowing and he didn't really care for that either. So he wasn't outside very long, but we enjoyed having him out there with us.
This definitely was a wonderful holiday season. As always I am sad to see it go. It feels like an eternity before it returns. But I am looking forward to the new year and all it has to bring. Thank you so much to everyone who made our holiday so special!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
An Important Milestone
This past Friday, on December 10, 2010, this family shared a very important milestone: it had been exactly one year since our little monkey came home from the hospital!! It was a very beautiful day and a beautiful thing to celebrate. The day was even complete with a few tears from me.
It is still hard to think about those days sometimes. I find myself still asking "WHY?" Honestly, I still don't think it is fair. There is a slight tinge of bitterness remaining. But then I think about all the blessings that came out of it. First of all, my little monkey did not have a December birthday (and if you know me, you know that was a fear of mine). Secondly, I got to meet my little boy 6 1/2 weeks early! I spent time taking care of him, holding him, feeding him, and changing his diaper well before I was supposed to. Thirdly, him coming early was time I did not spend pregnant and miserable! And lastly, Josh has a story. He was a miracle from the beginning. We see his story, the fact that he was a preemie, as a badge of honor. It is something we overcame and something we are proud of him for. Josh will be able to minister to people, and because of what I went through, I will be able to help more women in my congregations.
I still remember the day we brought him home. We had roomed in the night before at the hospital to get the hang of spending a night with him. We had access to a nurse if we needed one. And that was helpful, especially since Josh was on that apnea monitor. We had a great night, but there was not a lot of sleep! The next morning around 7:30, the morning nurse came to get him and said she would call him after the doctor came in and made a decision. It seemed like we waited forever!! She finally called (close to 9) and said we could come to the nursery. The doctor had released Josh!! I have never been so happy in my whole life. We went to the nursery to fill out paperwork and help get Josh ready to leave. We got out of the hospital around 10 AM. I cried when we left the hospital! I called my mom and told her we were on the way home with Josh, still crying. We got Josh home, showed him around the house, and got him settled. Then Matt had to go to work because he only took half a day off work. I cried when Matt left, not knowing if I could care for him by myself, but we had a great afternoon! It was the start of something beautiful!
It definitely was hard leaving him in the hospital, but it was heaven when he came home. I know he was in the best place for him. It would have killed me if he had come home and we had to take him back. Part of the reason Josh was in the hospital so long was because of his own stubborness. The rest of it was the doctors taking so long to figure out everything that was wrong with him, and misdiagnosing him several times. That did make me a little upset with the doctors and I was getting impatient. The original hope and timeline was for him to be home in time for Thanksgiving, and it could have happened. Josh was big enough, but it wasn't in God's plan. I guess God was trying to teach me patience. And Josh being in the hospital gave me time to rest because once he came home, I wasn't getting much rest!
I spent part of this beautiful anniversary healing. My healing process has seemed slow, but it has progressed. I have come far in a year. And it seems like in the last 2 1/2 months I have made the most progress. I think my healing is pretty close to complete, although I do have days where I take steps backward. On this anniversary, I took photos of Josh and went to Shutterfly to make a photo book. I told Josh's story in pictures, with no words, over the first year of his life. You can see how he grew and changed! It reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. And Josh is not that little boy anymore. He is big, strong, and healthy. Seeing his progress step by step over the first year definitely made it easier. And my focus needs to be on my little boy right now, not who he was at 3 pounds 7 ounces!
It is still hard to think about those days sometimes. I find myself still asking "WHY?" Honestly, I still don't think it is fair. There is a slight tinge of bitterness remaining. But then I think about all the blessings that came out of it. First of all, my little monkey did not have a December birthday (and if you know me, you know that was a fear of mine). Secondly, I got to meet my little boy 6 1/2 weeks early! I spent time taking care of him, holding him, feeding him, and changing his diaper well before I was supposed to. Thirdly, him coming early was time I did not spend pregnant and miserable! And lastly, Josh has a story. He was a miracle from the beginning. We see his story, the fact that he was a preemie, as a badge of honor. It is something we overcame and something we are proud of him for. Josh will be able to minister to people, and because of what I went through, I will be able to help more women in my congregations.
I still remember the day we brought him home. We had roomed in the night before at the hospital to get the hang of spending a night with him. We had access to a nurse if we needed one. And that was helpful, especially since Josh was on that apnea monitor. We had a great night, but there was not a lot of sleep! The next morning around 7:30, the morning nurse came to get him and said she would call him after the doctor came in and made a decision. It seemed like we waited forever!! She finally called (close to 9) and said we could come to the nursery. The doctor had released Josh!! I have never been so happy in my whole life. We went to the nursery to fill out paperwork and help get Josh ready to leave. We got out of the hospital around 10 AM. I cried when we left the hospital! I called my mom and told her we were on the way home with Josh, still crying. We got Josh home, showed him around the house, and got him settled. Then Matt had to go to work because he only took half a day off work. I cried when Matt left, not knowing if I could care for him by myself, but we had a great afternoon! It was the start of something beautiful!
It definitely was hard leaving him in the hospital, but it was heaven when he came home. I know he was in the best place for him. It would have killed me if he had come home and we had to take him back. Part of the reason Josh was in the hospital so long was because of his own stubborness. The rest of it was the doctors taking so long to figure out everything that was wrong with him, and misdiagnosing him several times. That did make me a little upset with the doctors and I was getting impatient. The original hope and timeline was for him to be home in time for Thanksgiving, and it could have happened. Josh was big enough, but it wasn't in God's plan. I guess God was trying to teach me patience. And Josh being in the hospital gave me time to rest because once he came home, I wasn't getting much rest!
I spent part of this beautiful anniversary healing. My healing process has seemed slow, but it has progressed. I have come far in a year. And it seems like in the last 2 1/2 months I have made the most progress. I think my healing is pretty close to complete, although I do have days where I take steps backward. On this anniversary, I took photos of Josh and went to Shutterfly to make a photo book. I told Josh's story in pictures, with no words, over the first year of his life. You can see how he grew and changed! It reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. And Josh is not that little boy anymore. He is big, strong, and healthy. Seeing his progress step by step over the first year definitely made it easier. And my focus needs to be on my little boy right now, not who he was at 3 pounds 7 ounces!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Being Thankful
Being thankful is something that shouldn't end just because Thanksgiving is over. We should be thankful each and everyday for what we are given. I would have written this last week, but I was without a computer for a week because my laptop crashed. That leads to the first thing I am thankful for (these aren't in order)...
1. Technology - I love having a computer, internet, cell phone, an mp3, and so many other things. It is so easy nowadays to keep in contact with those we love and care about. Plus it is so easy to get news and information quickly.
2. God - Without God we wouldn't have all these wonderful things we are blessed with; countless things we don't deserve. I love my relationship with God. I appreciate so much that God allowed his Son to die on my behalf when I didn't deserve. It is wonderful that God treats us with mercy, grace, and that he chooses to forgive us. And I love that God hears our prayers. God is my Savior, and without Him, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today.
3. Family - Who has seen you at your worst and still loves you? Who supports you in all your endeavors? Who is there to back you up and help out in any situation? Family, of course! All my family means so much to me. Without them I wouldn't be where I am today. I have a wonderful husband, supportive parents, and an amazing sister who is one of my best friends!
4. My son - I know he could be put in the category of family, but our relationship is special. A mother cannot love anyone the way she loves her children. We carry them and give birth to them. We have a bond with them and a love so deep and strong before they even get here. A mother nourishes and helps her baby grow for 9 months, and then after our child is here we continue to help them grow. But I am even more thankful for Josh after what we have been through. Josh could easily not be here right now, but God had bigger plans for Josh. Josh's premature birth taught Mommy and Daddy alot about God's sovereignty and his care for his children. Josh is my world. I have never loved anyone the way I love my son!
5. Other supportive people - Friends, extended family, co-workers, and church family are all wonderful people to have around. It is great to have people that love and care about you; people who are supportive and understanding, or people who can lend a helping hand, an ear, or a shoulder to cry on. Close friends are a blessing!
6. My job - It is an honor to be chosen to serve God in ministry. I still do not know why he chose me, but I am thankful. I plan to spend my next 40 years or so serving God to the best of my ability. It is great to be there for people, to listen, to be compassionate and generous, to point people to God, to pray for them, and to be their pastor. What better career could there be then serving God? It is a chore, stressful, frustrating, and difficult at times, but so fulfilling. I pray God will be with me and continue to help me get better at my vocation.
7. All the extras - Food, money, a home, and all the other things we need to get by. We are blessed to have what we need and some of what we want. Even in those times when things were rough (like when Josh was in the hospital) God provided what we needed. During the recession Matt never lost his job even though his company let people go. We are so blessed! I know God will provide for all our needs if we are just faithful. And even if we don't have all of what we want, we will still have what we need, and each other!
We all need to remember to count our blessings and be thankful each and every day.
1. Technology - I love having a computer, internet, cell phone, an mp3, and so many other things. It is so easy nowadays to keep in contact with those we love and care about. Plus it is so easy to get news and information quickly.
2. God - Without God we wouldn't have all these wonderful things we are blessed with; countless things we don't deserve. I love my relationship with God. I appreciate so much that God allowed his Son to die on my behalf when I didn't deserve. It is wonderful that God treats us with mercy, grace, and that he chooses to forgive us. And I love that God hears our prayers. God is my Savior, and without Him, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today.
3. Family - Who has seen you at your worst and still loves you? Who supports you in all your endeavors? Who is there to back you up and help out in any situation? Family, of course! All my family means so much to me. Without them I wouldn't be where I am today. I have a wonderful husband, supportive parents, and an amazing sister who is one of my best friends!
4. My son - I know he could be put in the category of family, but our relationship is special. A mother cannot love anyone the way she loves her children. We carry them and give birth to them. We have a bond with them and a love so deep and strong before they even get here. A mother nourishes and helps her baby grow for 9 months, and then after our child is here we continue to help them grow. But I am even more thankful for Josh after what we have been through. Josh could easily not be here right now, but God had bigger plans for Josh. Josh's premature birth taught Mommy and Daddy alot about God's sovereignty and his care for his children. Josh is my world. I have never loved anyone the way I love my son!
5. Other supportive people - Friends, extended family, co-workers, and church family are all wonderful people to have around. It is great to have people that love and care about you; people who are supportive and understanding, or people who can lend a helping hand, an ear, or a shoulder to cry on. Close friends are a blessing!
6. My job - It is an honor to be chosen to serve God in ministry. I still do not know why he chose me, but I am thankful. I plan to spend my next 40 years or so serving God to the best of my ability. It is great to be there for people, to listen, to be compassionate and generous, to point people to God, to pray for them, and to be their pastor. What better career could there be then serving God? It is a chore, stressful, frustrating, and difficult at times, but so fulfilling. I pray God will be with me and continue to help me get better at my vocation.
7. All the extras - Food, money, a home, and all the other things we need to get by. We are blessed to have what we need and some of what we want. Even in those times when things were rough (like when Josh was in the hospital) God provided what we needed. During the recession Matt never lost his job even though his company let people go. We are so blessed! I know God will provide for all our needs if we are just faithful. And even if we don't have all of what we want, we will still have what we need, and each other!
We all need to remember to count our blessings and be thankful each and every day.
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