Our little girl is so amazing! I am absolutely in love! She is such a good baby. I had honestly forgotten what it is like to have a new baby in the house. Even though we are sleep deprived, it is all worth it. I am so happy with everything.
I will be honest, when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Rachel, I wondered a lot if I would be able to love her the way I love my little boy. I just did not think I would have room in my heart to love her the way I love Josh. Plus, after everything we went through with our baby boy, I questioned if the depth of my love for her could even come close to what I have for Josh. Boy was I wrong! There is plenty of room to love more children. I just feel more love. And I love her just as much as I love Josh, just in a different way than I love Josh because she is a girl. I feel an overwhelming need to protect her. I don't have the same need to protect my son because I know he will be like his dad and able to take care of himself in most ways.
Rachel is like Josh in some ways, but she is also very different. Rachel looked like Josh when she was born. That was the first thing I said to Matt about her. Rachel does not cry very much. Rachel does not care for loud noises like her brother, but she can sleep through anything. Also, Rachel has long fingers and toes like her brother. I am praying Rachel will get those long eyelashes that Josh and Matt have.
There are some differences between Rachel and Josh, though. Josh needed his pacifier. Rachel is indifferent about it. Josh was easily agitated which I believe came from spending 5 weeks in the commotion of the NICU. Rachel is much calmer. Josh had acid reflux and Rachel barely ever spits up which is so much easier to deal with. Josh didn't mind getting his diaper changed; Rachel screams her head off throughout the ordeal. Hopefully, that will change as she ages.
I also think how my kids look and act is too funny. Josh looks like Matt, but acts more like me. Josh also prefers me. Rachel looks just like my baby picture now. Rachel is bald just like I was, but the bit of hair that is coming in appears to have a reddish tint, just like my natural color. Rachel is opposite of her brother; she prefers being with her daddy. I am not totally sure yet because she is so young, but her demeanor appears to be more like her dads. This all works out perfect if you ask me!
Some things we have learned about Rachel in her first three and a half weeks:
-She does not need a pacifier
-She does not like her car seat; but she will sleep in the car
-She fusses horribly when she is sick, otherwise she rarely cries unless it's diaper time or bath time. Josh does not fuss when he is sick.
-She loves to watch the fan and shadows on the wall, but she does not like bright lights. Her brother loved lights.
-She has her days and nights mixed up. She will sleep 4 or 5 hours at a time during the day, but at night she is up every 2 1/2 hours or so.
-She seems to prefer sleeping in someone's arms or in her bouncy seat or up against her Boppy instead of completely flat.
I'm looking forward to see what we learn about Rachel in the coming days and weeks.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
July 18, 2012 - The Big Day and my Best Day
It has been a long time; too long actually. Weeks have gone by since I last wrote. Reason being - we have a baby! Rachel Elizabeth is here! And she has been for three weeks on Wednesday. If you can't tell by the post title, July 18th was the big day. A perfect date for a birthday!
That morning I was supposed to go in for a doctor's appointment at 10:30. At 8:00, the receptionist at my OB's office called and said my OB had to go in for an emergency delivery. So we rescheduled my appointment for Friday. About 8:45 the terrible contractions returned: fiercer, stronger, and longer than they had ever been. It got to the point where I had trouble talking or thinking because of the pain. I felt like we had to be getting closer. 9:30 AM: back pain; terrible, horrible pain like I had never felt before. I diligently counted and timed my contractions off and on for two hours. At some time past 11:00 I called my OB's office. She had not returned to the office yet. I spoke with the nurse. We discussed my symptoms and she felt I needed to be seen in L&D at the hospital, especially since my contractions were longer and the back pain was unbearable.
So back we went to L&D for the fourth time (I think). We dropped Josh at my in-laws and headed to the hospital. I was nervous. We got to the hospital around 12:15. Once I got up to a room and connected to the monitors it was apparent I was having the kind of contractions they wanted me to (YES!), but then came the bad news: I was no more dialated than I was exactly one week before at my OB appointment (you have to be kidding me! What are these contractions doing?!) My nurse, Beth, was wonderful. She was on the phone with my doctor trying to figure out what to do. I can't be induced because I had a previous c-section. Induction causes harder and stronger contractions which could cause a uterine rupture. Plus, my OB expressed that even if she could induce, she wouldn't want to do it before 38 weeks at the absolute minimum, unless it was necessary to induce before. I was 37 weeks and 4 days.
I really think they were just going to send me home even though the consensus appeared to be that I just might be one of those women who had hard contractions and never dialated enough (this was not good news, especially since I wanted to deliver naturally). To me, it seemed like if I was one of the women who wasn't going to dialate, then Rachel was ready to come out. I had been having bad contractions for 2-3 weeks. I felt like my little girl was trying to tell us something. I started to worry and get a little scared at that point.
The hospital has a rule that the baby has to move a certain number of times in a certain amount of time, and also to have a certain heartrate. Beth and my doctor were concerned. Rachel was moving an acceptable amount for a 35 or 36 week baby, but I was almost 38. They needed Rachel to move more, and she just wouldn't do it. They gave me food and sugar drinks to help; still no luck. My doctor ordered a special ultrasound called a Biophysical Profile. It measures the baby in 5 areas with a maximum score of 2 points in each area for a best possible score of 10. So we went down to ultrasound and had this hour long test. The ultrasound tech couldn't tell us anything. We were so anxious.
When we got back to the room. Matt and I were talking. Matt had kept saying in the hospital that afternoon, he didn't want to get sent home again without a baby. He said he just wished they would go ahead and do a section so we could meet Rachel. That was not what I was wanting to hear, even though I wanted to meet Rachel as much as he did. We talked more about that until Beth returned. We asked Beth about the scoring. She said if we got a 7 or better they would leave us alone and we would be sent home. If we scored a 5 or less, we would definitely be delivered and most likely by c-section. I started to get freaked out. This was starting to be like Josh all over again. Beth said she would return when she knew something.
Matt called his mom to let her know what was going on, and practically no time later, Beth returned. I asked how Rachel did. Beth said she scored a 2. I knew Matt would be happy with what that meant, but my heart sank. I asked what we were going to do. She said she had talked to my doctor and we were going to do a c-section that night. I asked what was wrong, and Beth said that all she knew was my uterus was not a safe home for Rachel anymore. I asked if she will be okay. Beth said she should if we get her out soon. Then I asked the question that broke my heart: if she would need the NICU. Beth said she shouldn't, but some 37 week babies do better than others. This was about 4:45 pm.
All I can say is that God was with us. Apparently, Heather has c-sections better on short notice! My doctor came in to talk to us before the surgery. We asked what had gone wrong. She said my placenta wasn't working properly and it was time to get Rachel out. The anesthesiologist came in to talk to me. I was really nervous about this, but felt better after talking to the woman who was going to do my spinal. I was so thankful it wasn't the man who did it last time. Matt called our parents and got everything rolling with them about finding child care for Josh and letting them know what was going on. The lab came up to take blood. When my labs came back, off to surgery we went. It was a little after 6:00 pm.
Surgery was so much better this time. I was so pleased. I handled getting the spinal a lot better. It didn't really hurt! Beth was with me through the prep and getting the spinal in. Then my doctor and her partner came in. Then they allowed Matt in about 6:25 or 6:30. The spinal made me sicker this time. I got a bad headache, I was shaking horribly, and I felt so nauseous, but the woman anesthesiologist (Lisa) was wonderful and she did everything she could to help. She helped with the nausea and the headache. She couldn't do anything about the shaking; it comes with the anesthesia. Rachel was born at 6:50 pm. They let us see her. She was so beautiful. She was breathing well and not jaundiced. Her apgar scores were 6 and 9. The second one was almost perfect. The consensus before she went to recovery with Matt was that she probably wouldn't need NICU. Praise God!
They sent Matt with Rachel to the recovery room (which is what happens with a normal c-section at our hospital). My doctors finished up with stitching me back together. I was not put to sleep this time which I was pleased about. I made it to the recovery room about 7:25. Matt and Rachel were there waiting for me. Our night nurse was doing Rachel's assessment. Rachel ended up measuring (in age) closer to a 39 week baby. I couldn't believe how that was possible. Rachel weighed 5 pounds 7 ounces (2 pounds more than her brother; she was a little small from my bad case of anemia and because of the placenta issue) and she was 19 inches long (2 inches longer than her brother). She was so beautiful. I got to hold her in recovery. There were a few tears in recovery. I did it! I was so happy! After her assessment, I asked our nurse about her prognosis. The nurse said she was doing good, and that she should not need the NICU. Rachel got her first bath and her first feeding in the recovery room.
We made it back to our room at 9:00. I was so thankful and feeling so blessed. We stayed at the hospital until Friday early afternoon. Rachel never needed to go to the NICU. She made a couple trips to the regular nursery for routine things like her hearing test and her vitamin K shot. Rachel roomed in with us our entire stay. I couldn't be more pleased! Everything worked out wonderfully. I am so thankful to God, and so thankful to my OB for getting me to this point. God gave me everything I could have wanted. It was the exact opposite of Josh. When I left the hospital Friday, I was wheeled out with my baby in my arms, just like it is supposed to be. I cried a little on the way home. This was what I had been waiting for. This was what I needed. This was the best day!
That morning I was supposed to go in for a doctor's appointment at 10:30. At 8:00, the receptionist at my OB's office called and said my OB had to go in for an emergency delivery. So we rescheduled my appointment for Friday. About 8:45 the terrible contractions returned: fiercer, stronger, and longer than they had ever been. It got to the point where I had trouble talking or thinking because of the pain. I felt like we had to be getting closer. 9:30 AM: back pain; terrible, horrible pain like I had never felt before. I diligently counted and timed my contractions off and on for two hours. At some time past 11:00 I called my OB's office. She had not returned to the office yet. I spoke with the nurse. We discussed my symptoms and she felt I needed to be seen in L&D at the hospital, especially since my contractions were longer and the back pain was unbearable.
So back we went to L&D for the fourth time (I think). We dropped Josh at my in-laws and headed to the hospital. I was nervous. We got to the hospital around 12:15. Once I got up to a room and connected to the monitors it was apparent I was having the kind of contractions they wanted me to (YES!), but then came the bad news: I was no more dialated than I was exactly one week before at my OB appointment (you have to be kidding me! What are these contractions doing?!) My nurse, Beth, was wonderful. She was on the phone with my doctor trying to figure out what to do. I can't be induced because I had a previous c-section. Induction causes harder and stronger contractions which could cause a uterine rupture. Plus, my OB expressed that even if she could induce, she wouldn't want to do it before 38 weeks at the absolute minimum, unless it was necessary to induce before. I was 37 weeks and 4 days.
I really think they were just going to send me home even though the consensus appeared to be that I just might be one of those women who had hard contractions and never dialated enough (this was not good news, especially since I wanted to deliver naturally). To me, it seemed like if I was one of the women who wasn't going to dialate, then Rachel was ready to come out. I had been having bad contractions for 2-3 weeks. I felt like my little girl was trying to tell us something. I started to worry and get a little scared at that point.
The hospital has a rule that the baby has to move a certain number of times in a certain amount of time, and also to have a certain heartrate. Beth and my doctor were concerned. Rachel was moving an acceptable amount for a 35 or 36 week baby, but I was almost 38. They needed Rachel to move more, and she just wouldn't do it. They gave me food and sugar drinks to help; still no luck. My doctor ordered a special ultrasound called a Biophysical Profile. It measures the baby in 5 areas with a maximum score of 2 points in each area for a best possible score of 10. So we went down to ultrasound and had this hour long test. The ultrasound tech couldn't tell us anything. We were so anxious.
When we got back to the room. Matt and I were talking. Matt had kept saying in the hospital that afternoon, he didn't want to get sent home again without a baby. He said he just wished they would go ahead and do a section so we could meet Rachel. That was not what I was wanting to hear, even though I wanted to meet Rachel as much as he did. We talked more about that until Beth returned. We asked Beth about the scoring. She said if we got a 7 or better they would leave us alone and we would be sent home. If we scored a 5 or less, we would definitely be delivered and most likely by c-section. I started to get freaked out. This was starting to be like Josh all over again. Beth said she would return when she knew something.
Matt called his mom to let her know what was going on, and practically no time later, Beth returned. I asked how Rachel did. Beth said she scored a 2. I knew Matt would be happy with what that meant, but my heart sank. I asked what we were going to do. She said she had talked to my doctor and we were going to do a c-section that night. I asked what was wrong, and Beth said that all she knew was my uterus was not a safe home for Rachel anymore. I asked if she will be okay. Beth said she should if we get her out soon. Then I asked the question that broke my heart: if she would need the NICU. Beth said she shouldn't, but some 37 week babies do better than others. This was about 4:45 pm.
All I can say is that God was with us. Apparently, Heather has c-sections better on short notice! My doctor came in to talk to us before the surgery. We asked what had gone wrong. She said my placenta wasn't working properly and it was time to get Rachel out. The anesthesiologist came in to talk to me. I was really nervous about this, but felt better after talking to the woman who was going to do my spinal. I was so thankful it wasn't the man who did it last time. Matt called our parents and got everything rolling with them about finding child care for Josh and letting them know what was going on. The lab came up to take blood. When my labs came back, off to surgery we went. It was a little after 6:00 pm.
Surgery was so much better this time. I was so pleased. I handled getting the spinal a lot better. It didn't really hurt! Beth was with me through the prep and getting the spinal in. Then my doctor and her partner came in. Then they allowed Matt in about 6:25 or 6:30. The spinal made me sicker this time. I got a bad headache, I was shaking horribly, and I felt so nauseous, but the woman anesthesiologist (Lisa) was wonderful and she did everything she could to help. She helped with the nausea and the headache. She couldn't do anything about the shaking; it comes with the anesthesia. Rachel was born at 6:50 pm. They let us see her. She was so beautiful. She was breathing well and not jaundiced. Her apgar scores were 6 and 9. The second one was almost perfect. The consensus before she went to recovery with Matt was that she probably wouldn't need NICU. Praise God!
They sent Matt with Rachel to the recovery room (which is what happens with a normal c-section at our hospital). My doctors finished up with stitching me back together. I was not put to sleep this time which I was pleased about. I made it to the recovery room about 7:25. Matt and Rachel were there waiting for me. Our night nurse was doing Rachel's assessment. Rachel ended up measuring (in age) closer to a 39 week baby. I couldn't believe how that was possible. Rachel weighed 5 pounds 7 ounces (2 pounds more than her brother; she was a little small from my bad case of anemia and because of the placenta issue) and she was 19 inches long (2 inches longer than her brother). She was so beautiful. I got to hold her in recovery. There were a few tears in recovery. I did it! I was so happy! After her assessment, I asked our nurse about her prognosis. The nurse said she was doing good, and that she should not need the NICU. Rachel got her first bath and her first feeding in the recovery room.
We made it back to our room at 9:00. I was so thankful and feeling so blessed. We stayed at the hospital until Friday early afternoon. Rachel never needed to go to the NICU. She made a couple trips to the regular nursery for routine things like her hearing test and her vitamin K shot. Rachel roomed in with us our entire stay. I couldn't be more pleased! Everything worked out wonderfully. I am so thankful to God, and so thankful to my OB for getting me to this point. God gave me everything I could have wanted. It was the exact opposite of Josh. When I left the hospital Friday, I was wheeled out with my baby in my arms, just like it is supposed to be. I cried a little on the way home. This was what I had been waiting for. This was what I needed. This was the best day!
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