This update has been long overdue. I'm sorry it has been two months. So much has happened the last two months. The month of September that I expected to be busy turned into a busy September and October with many unexpected challenges.
When I wrote last, I mentioned that Matt's dad may have had a stroke. He did indeed have a stroke. And that stroke threw him into full-blown dementia. He spent a week in the hospital. We were worried about long-term care for Matt's parents. This incident was enough to qualify him to get into a nursing home which was both an answered prayer and a problem. We had full-time care for his dad, but now we had to worry about his mom because his dad was her caregiver. It was possible that his stay there was only going to be temporary, but now it is permanent due to an aortic aneurysm which cannot be operated on. This is a sad situation for all of us.
After Matt's dad went to the nursing home on September 11, we had to step in and help out with Matt's mom due to the fact that other family couldn't or wouldn't help. We had to find and provide care for his mom. Matt and I had to rearrange our schedules and our lives to get her to dialysis three days a week, to get her to the nursing home to visit, and to get her errands done and her bills paid. It was tough on us, but if you can't count on family, who can you count on. We were hoping to get her into a nursing home, but even as sick as she is, she wasn't sick enough. To get her into the nursing home it would require a three day hospital stay. On Saturday, October 27, Matt's mom had a couple mini-strokes that the doctors are calling TIAs. She was in the hospital until Thursday, November 1. So when she came out, she went to the nursing home with Matt's dad. That was an answered prayer for us all, but we hate it was under these circumstances.
We had our own problems these last two months outside of Matt's parents. Matt was pretty sick. Matt hurt his back in September. Due to his parents and his back, Matt did not work at all in September. Thank goodness for FMLA! Matt went back to work on October 8 with restrictions due to his back. Matt missed some more time in October due to his mom's hospital stay, an eye injury, and a cyst by his ear. With all of this stuff coming up, finding out about Matt's stomach and the sleep apnea test have been put on hold. We will start trying to find out about his stomach problems after the first of the year.
The kids are doing well. Josh turned three on November 1. THREE!!! How did that happen? We celebrated his birthday with a Thomas the Train party on November 3. Josh had a great time and got a lot of nice things. Rachel will be four months on the 18th of this month. I can't believe that! Rachel is growing like a weed. She sleeps through the night and loves to laugh and smile. Both of our kids are tall for their age; thanks Dad.
Things are going well with me. We finally seemed to find a treatment that helped with my headaches. All this extra stress just hasn't been helping. I had a really busy time, but I made it through. Charge conference went well. We will be entering Advent soon, which is a very busy time in the church but I think it will be a very familiar and welcome distraction after all the chaos. I can't believe Thanksgiving is in 16 days. Wow! I've only bought one Christmas present, so I better get busy.
Well, this is the abridged version of what has been going on with us. I have said enough so I will be leaving now. I promise it will not be two months until you hear from me again. Things seemed to have finally calmed down some. But as always, I would appreciate your prayers for our family.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Sickness, Sickness, Go Away!
I am absolutely, positively, sick of sickness! Sickness, please leave our family!
It has been a rough month, to say the least. And this next month will be just as rough with all we have to do, and even rougher if sickness stays around.
Let me start with last month. When Rachel was exactly 2 weeks old she came down with a fever. I didn't even have to take her temperature (I didn't want to be the bad guy), she was that hot to the touch. Matt was supposed to go back to work for his second night since Rachel was born, so I took Rachel to our doctor. My parents were coming down to meet me there so they could sit with Josh in the waiting room. Rachel's temp was 101.4 via her right ear, 102.1 via her left, and when the nurse came back to take her rectal temp, it was 103.3. I knew we were going to get sent to the hospital. Any baby under 3 months of age with a fever of 100.5 or great goes to the hospital so they can rule out meningitis. So off to the hospital we went. Matt left work, Josh went with my parents to their house, and off we went to the hospital. I was scared. They took blood, urine and tested her for meningitis (spinal tap). They started antibiotics. It broke my heart for her to go through all of that. They have to let the cultures grow which takes 48 hours. So we were going to be at the hospital until Friday, at the earliest. At 12 hours her cultures were clean. Again at 24 hours they were still clean, which is an excellent sign (if they are clean at 24 hours, it is very unlikely anything will show up). At 36 hours (Friday morning) she was still clean, so Rachel's doctor told us we would leave Friday evening. It turned out that Rachel just had a virus. I was so thankful she was okay, but that is something I never want to repeat again.
The day we took Rachel to the hospital, I got a bad headache. I assumed it was from stress, hormones, and/or doing too much, too soon after my c-section. Two weeks later, I was still dealing with that headache. After talking to my mom, I went to the doctor. I had been struggling to get an appointment with our doctor due to vacation and him being booked up, so I went to urgent care. The doctor's consensus there was that I was suffering from tension headaches that turned into a migraine. He gave me several medicines. Some of them made me sleepy so my parents helped out with the kids. After several days, they were not helping like I thought they should be, plus I was getting sick to my stomach. So this time, I was off to the ER after being unable to secure an appointment with my doctor. I have seen and talked to several doctors about my headaches. We have struggled to find successful treatments and the cause. The consensus at this point appears to be a combination of things: migraine, stress (thus causing tension headaches), as well as hormones and my eyes. The current glasses I wear are a prescription given in 2008. I have had two pregnancies since then. I know my prescription has changed. When I wear my glasses I get headaches. My glasses were prescribed for distance: driving, watching TV, reading far away, etc., so I only wear them some. Now, I wear them a lot less. Maybe after the busy month of September passes, I will find some time to go to the eye doctor.
Joshua and Matt have also struggled this past month, although Joshua has been the least sick of us all. Josh got a fever one day. It turns out it was from a molar coming through. I am so thankful his teething is almost done! Then another day he fell off our bed and hit his head on my dresser. It was bleeding horribly! We took him to urgent care. No stitches or gluing needed, thank goodness! I pray all Josh's injuries will require no stitches or gluing, but I am not holding my breath: he is our child and he is all boy!
Matt has been a different story. His stomach has been acting up. He has been so sick and in so much pain. I thought the stomach trouble was over when he got his gallbladder removed, but we have been dealing with similar issues. Matt was experiencing typical stomach virus symptoms, but what concerned me most was that he had a fever and was complaining of horrible pain especially when he bent over. Day 2 of these complaints I talked him into going because of the fever and the pain. I was worried about his appendix. Our doctor didn't have any appointments that day, so he went to the ER. They thought it was from a virus. They gave him medicine and wrote him out of work for that day and the next. Initially, Matt felt the medicine was helping, but then, by the next evening, he was back to just as bad as he had been, if not worse. Friday, Matt got in with our doctor. Our doctor started the ball rolling on getting tests done. He felt it was possible Matt, with his frequent, serious stomach issues, has something like Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis. So, Monday a week ago, Matt had an upper GI. The doctor found evidence of serious acid reflux and he took some biopsies, but did not find evidence of Crohn's disease or an ulcer. He suspected the biopsies would be clean. But during the procedure he found evidence that Matt may have sleep apnea because he struggled for breath while he was under. Matt followed up with our doctor this past Thursday. Our doctor feels it is imperative to test for sleep apnea first. So on the 17th of this month, Matt will have a sleep study done. After that, we will resume the search for his stomach troubles with a colonoscopy. If the colonoscopy is clean, Matt will have the test where he will drink the Barium and they will look in his intestines. I hope they find the answer soon. I don't want him to suffer any more. Once they found out what is causing the stomach trouble, then we will know how to treat it. I also hope he does not have sleep apnea.
This month will be busy, as well. I hope everyone gets to feeling better and stays healthy. It has been rough, and we have so much going on. Matt's business has inventory October 1, so he will start working weekends. He also has the sleep study on September 17. I have Charge Conference on the 29 and my consultation before it is on the 19th, and there is a lot of paperwork to prepare for that. In addition, I have two meetings this month in Columbia. We also have Rachel's 2 month checkup which includes shots. And I will have my last appointment with my OB this month. All this is in addition to our normal schedule. Plus, we may have to start looking for an assisted living place to get his parents into. Their health has been failing and they need some help. As I write this, Matt has gone to take his father to the hospital. They think he may have had a stroke. It's just a lot to take on right now. We would appreciate your prayers right now. We could certainly use them. When October 2 gets here, I think Matt and I might crash. But we can't because then it is time to plan two birthdays: mine on the 22nd of October and Josh's on November 1st. Then it will be time to get ready for the holidays. Wow, there is so much going on! It makes me tired just thinking about it all.
It has been a rough month, to say the least. And this next month will be just as rough with all we have to do, and even rougher if sickness stays around.
Let me start with last month. When Rachel was exactly 2 weeks old she came down with a fever. I didn't even have to take her temperature (I didn't want to be the bad guy), she was that hot to the touch. Matt was supposed to go back to work for his second night since Rachel was born, so I took Rachel to our doctor. My parents were coming down to meet me there so they could sit with Josh in the waiting room. Rachel's temp was 101.4 via her right ear, 102.1 via her left, and when the nurse came back to take her rectal temp, it was 103.3. I knew we were going to get sent to the hospital. Any baby under 3 months of age with a fever of 100.5 or great goes to the hospital so they can rule out meningitis. So off to the hospital we went. Matt left work, Josh went with my parents to their house, and off we went to the hospital. I was scared. They took blood, urine and tested her for meningitis (spinal tap). They started antibiotics. It broke my heart for her to go through all of that. They have to let the cultures grow which takes 48 hours. So we were going to be at the hospital until Friday, at the earliest. At 12 hours her cultures were clean. Again at 24 hours they were still clean, which is an excellent sign (if they are clean at 24 hours, it is very unlikely anything will show up). At 36 hours (Friday morning) she was still clean, so Rachel's doctor told us we would leave Friday evening. It turned out that Rachel just had a virus. I was so thankful she was okay, but that is something I never want to repeat again.
The day we took Rachel to the hospital, I got a bad headache. I assumed it was from stress, hormones, and/or doing too much, too soon after my c-section. Two weeks later, I was still dealing with that headache. After talking to my mom, I went to the doctor. I had been struggling to get an appointment with our doctor due to vacation and him being booked up, so I went to urgent care. The doctor's consensus there was that I was suffering from tension headaches that turned into a migraine. He gave me several medicines. Some of them made me sleepy so my parents helped out with the kids. After several days, they were not helping like I thought they should be, plus I was getting sick to my stomach. So this time, I was off to the ER after being unable to secure an appointment with my doctor. I have seen and talked to several doctors about my headaches. We have struggled to find successful treatments and the cause. The consensus at this point appears to be a combination of things: migraine, stress (thus causing tension headaches), as well as hormones and my eyes. The current glasses I wear are a prescription given in 2008. I have had two pregnancies since then. I know my prescription has changed. When I wear my glasses I get headaches. My glasses were prescribed for distance: driving, watching TV, reading far away, etc., so I only wear them some. Now, I wear them a lot less. Maybe after the busy month of September passes, I will find some time to go to the eye doctor.
Joshua and Matt have also struggled this past month, although Joshua has been the least sick of us all. Josh got a fever one day. It turns out it was from a molar coming through. I am so thankful his teething is almost done! Then another day he fell off our bed and hit his head on my dresser. It was bleeding horribly! We took him to urgent care. No stitches or gluing needed, thank goodness! I pray all Josh's injuries will require no stitches or gluing, but I am not holding my breath: he is our child and he is all boy!
Matt has been a different story. His stomach has been acting up. He has been so sick and in so much pain. I thought the stomach trouble was over when he got his gallbladder removed, but we have been dealing with similar issues. Matt was experiencing typical stomach virus symptoms, but what concerned me most was that he had a fever and was complaining of horrible pain especially when he bent over. Day 2 of these complaints I talked him into going because of the fever and the pain. I was worried about his appendix. Our doctor didn't have any appointments that day, so he went to the ER. They thought it was from a virus. They gave him medicine and wrote him out of work for that day and the next. Initially, Matt felt the medicine was helping, but then, by the next evening, he was back to just as bad as he had been, if not worse. Friday, Matt got in with our doctor. Our doctor started the ball rolling on getting tests done. He felt it was possible Matt, with his frequent, serious stomach issues, has something like Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis. So, Monday a week ago, Matt had an upper GI. The doctor found evidence of serious acid reflux and he took some biopsies, but did not find evidence of Crohn's disease or an ulcer. He suspected the biopsies would be clean. But during the procedure he found evidence that Matt may have sleep apnea because he struggled for breath while he was under. Matt followed up with our doctor this past Thursday. Our doctor feels it is imperative to test for sleep apnea first. So on the 17th of this month, Matt will have a sleep study done. After that, we will resume the search for his stomach troubles with a colonoscopy. If the colonoscopy is clean, Matt will have the test where he will drink the Barium and they will look in his intestines. I hope they find the answer soon. I don't want him to suffer any more. Once they found out what is causing the stomach trouble, then we will know how to treat it. I also hope he does not have sleep apnea.
This month will be busy, as well. I hope everyone gets to feeling better and stays healthy. It has been rough, and we have so much going on. Matt's business has inventory October 1, so he will start working weekends. He also has the sleep study on September 17. I have Charge Conference on the 29 and my consultation before it is on the 19th, and there is a lot of paperwork to prepare for that. In addition, I have two meetings this month in Columbia. We also have Rachel's 2 month checkup which includes shots. And I will have my last appointment with my OB this month. All this is in addition to our normal schedule. Plus, we may have to start looking for an assisted living place to get his parents into. Their health has been failing and they need some help. As I write this, Matt has gone to take his father to the hospital. They think he may have had a stroke. It's just a lot to take on right now. We would appreciate your prayers right now. We could certainly use them. When October 2 gets here, I think Matt and I might crash. But we can't because then it is time to plan two birthdays: mine on the 22nd of October and Josh's on November 1st. Then it will be time to get ready for the holidays. Wow, there is so much going on! It makes me tired just thinking about it all.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Our Amazing Little Girl
Our little girl is so amazing! I am absolutely in love! She is such a good baby. I had honestly forgotten what it is like to have a new baby in the house. Even though we are sleep deprived, it is all worth it. I am so happy with everything.
I will be honest, when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Rachel, I wondered a lot if I would be able to love her the way I love my little boy. I just did not think I would have room in my heart to love her the way I love Josh. Plus, after everything we went through with our baby boy, I questioned if the depth of my love for her could even come close to what I have for Josh. Boy was I wrong! There is plenty of room to love more children. I just feel more love. And I love her just as much as I love Josh, just in a different way than I love Josh because she is a girl. I feel an overwhelming need to protect her. I don't have the same need to protect my son because I know he will be like his dad and able to take care of himself in most ways.
Rachel is like Josh in some ways, but she is also very different. Rachel looked like Josh when she was born. That was the first thing I said to Matt about her. Rachel does not cry very much. Rachel does not care for loud noises like her brother, but she can sleep through anything. Also, Rachel has long fingers and toes like her brother. I am praying Rachel will get those long eyelashes that Josh and Matt have.
There are some differences between Rachel and Josh, though. Josh needed his pacifier. Rachel is indifferent about it. Josh was easily agitated which I believe came from spending 5 weeks in the commotion of the NICU. Rachel is much calmer. Josh had acid reflux and Rachel barely ever spits up which is so much easier to deal with. Josh didn't mind getting his diaper changed; Rachel screams her head off throughout the ordeal. Hopefully, that will change as she ages.
I also think how my kids look and act is too funny. Josh looks like Matt, but acts more like me. Josh also prefers me. Rachel looks just like my baby picture now. Rachel is bald just like I was, but the bit of hair that is coming in appears to have a reddish tint, just like my natural color. Rachel is opposite of her brother; she prefers being with her daddy. I am not totally sure yet because she is so young, but her demeanor appears to be more like her dads. This all works out perfect if you ask me!
Some things we have learned about Rachel in her first three and a half weeks:
-She does not need a pacifier
-She does not like her car seat; but she will sleep in the car
-She fusses horribly when she is sick, otherwise she rarely cries unless it's diaper time or bath time. Josh does not fuss when he is sick.
-She loves to watch the fan and shadows on the wall, but she does not like bright lights. Her brother loved lights.
-She has her days and nights mixed up. She will sleep 4 or 5 hours at a time during the day, but at night she is up every 2 1/2 hours or so.
-She seems to prefer sleeping in someone's arms or in her bouncy seat or up against her Boppy instead of completely flat.
I'm looking forward to see what we learn about Rachel in the coming days and weeks.
I will be honest, when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Rachel, I wondered a lot if I would be able to love her the way I love my little boy. I just did not think I would have room in my heart to love her the way I love Josh. Plus, after everything we went through with our baby boy, I questioned if the depth of my love for her could even come close to what I have for Josh. Boy was I wrong! There is plenty of room to love more children. I just feel more love. And I love her just as much as I love Josh, just in a different way than I love Josh because she is a girl. I feel an overwhelming need to protect her. I don't have the same need to protect my son because I know he will be like his dad and able to take care of himself in most ways.
Rachel is like Josh in some ways, but she is also very different. Rachel looked like Josh when she was born. That was the first thing I said to Matt about her. Rachel does not cry very much. Rachel does not care for loud noises like her brother, but she can sleep through anything. Also, Rachel has long fingers and toes like her brother. I am praying Rachel will get those long eyelashes that Josh and Matt have.
There are some differences between Rachel and Josh, though. Josh needed his pacifier. Rachel is indifferent about it. Josh was easily agitated which I believe came from spending 5 weeks in the commotion of the NICU. Rachel is much calmer. Josh had acid reflux and Rachel barely ever spits up which is so much easier to deal with. Josh didn't mind getting his diaper changed; Rachel screams her head off throughout the ordeal. Hopefully, that will change as she ages.
I also think how my kids look and act is too funny. Josh looks like Matt, but acts more like me. Josh also prefers me. Rachel looks just like my baby picture now. Rachel is bald just like I was, but the bit of hair that is coming in appears to have a reddish tint, just like my natural color. Rachel is opposite of her brother; she prefers being with her daddy. I am not totally sure yet because she is so young, but her demeanor appears to be more like her dads. This all works out perfect if you ask me!
Some things we have learned about Rachel in her first three and a half weeks:
-She does not need a pacifier
-She does not like her car seat; but she will sleep in the car
-She fusses horribly when she is sick, otherwise she rarely cries unless it's diaper time or bath time. Josh does not fuss when he is sick.
-She loves to watch the fan and shadows on the wall, but she does not like bright lights. Her brother loved lights.
-She has her days and nights mixed up. She will sleep 4 or 5 hours at a time during the day, but at night she is up every 2 1/2 hours or so.
-She seems to prefer sleeping in someone's arms or in her bouncy seat or up against her Boppy instead of completely flat.
I'm looking forward to see what we learn about Rachel in the coming days and weeks.
Monday, August 6, 2012
July 18, 2012 - The Big Day and my Best Day
It has been a long time; too long actually. Weeks have gone by since I last wrote. Reason being - we have a baby! Rachel Elizabeth is here! And she has been for three weeks on Wednesday. If you can't tell by the post title, July 18th was the big day. A perfect date for a birthday!
That morning I was supposed to go in for a doctor's appointment at 10:30. At 8:00, the receptionist at my OB's office called and said my OB had to go in for an emergency delivery. So we rescheduled my appointment for Friday. About 8:45 the terrible contractions returned: fiercer, stronger, and longer than they had ever been. It got to the point where I had trouble talking or thinking because of the pain. I felt like we had to be getting closer. 9:30 AM: back pain; terrible, horrible pain like I had never felt before. I diligently counted and timed my contractions off and on for two hours. At some time past 11:00 I called my OB's office. She had not returned to the office yet. I spoke with the nurse. We discussed my symptoms and she felt I needed to be seen in L&D at the hospital, especially since my contractions were longer and the back pain was unbearable.
So back we went to L&D for the fourth time (I think). We dropped Josh at my in-laws and headed to the hospital. I was nervous. We got to the hospital around 12:15. Once I got up to a room and connected to the monitors it was apparent I was having the kind of contractions they wanted me to (YES!), but then came the bad news: I was no more dialated than I was exactly one week before at my OB appointment (you have to be kidding me! What are these contractions doing?!) My nurse, Beth, was wonderful. She was on the phone with my doctor trying to figure out what to do. I can't be induced because I had a previous c-section. Induction causes harder and stronger contractions which could cause a uterine rupture. Plus, my OB expressed that even if she could induce, she wouldn't want to do it before 38 weeks at the absolute minimum, unless it was necessary to induce before. I was 37 weeks and 4 days.
I really think they were just going to send me home even though the consensus appeared to be that I just might be one of those women who had hard contractions and never dialated enough (this was not good news, especially since I wanted to deliver naturally). To me, it seemed like if I was one of the women who wasn't going to dialate, then Rachel was ready to come out. I had been having bad contractions for 2-3 weeks. I felt like my little girl was trying to tell us something. I started to worry and get a little scared at that point.
The hospital has a rule that the baby has to move a certain number of times in a certain amount of time, and also to have a certain heartrate. Beth and my doctor were concerned. Rachel was moving an acceptable amount for a 35 or 36 week baby, but I was almost 38. They needed Rachel to move more, and she just wouldn't do it. They gave me food and sugar drinks to help; still no luck. My doctor ordered a special ultrasound called a Biophysical Profile. It measures the baby in 5 areas with a maximum score of 2 points in each area for a best possible score of 10. So we went down to ultrasound and had this hour long test. The ultrasound tech couldn't tell us anything. We were so anxious.
When we got back to the room. Matt and I were talking. Matt had kept saying in the hospital that afternoon, he didn't want to get sent home again without a baby. He said he just wished they would go ahead and do a section so we could meet Rachel. That was not what I was wanting to hear, even though I wanted to meet Rachel as much as he did. We talked more about that until Beth returned. We asked Beth about the scoring. She said if we got a 7 or better they would leave us alone and we would be sent home. If we scored a 5 or less, we would definitely be delivered and most likely by c-section. I started to get freaked out. This was starting to be like Josh all over again. Beth said she would return when she knew something.
Matt called his mom to let her know what was going on, and practically no time later, Beth returned. I asked how Rachel did. Beth said she scored a 2. I knew Matt would be happy with what that meant, but my heart sank. I asked what we were going to do. She said she had talked to my doctor and we were going to do a c-section that night. I asked what was wrong, and Beth said that all she knew was my uterus was not a safe home for Rachel anymore. I asked if she will be okay. Beth said she should if we get her out soon. Then I asked the question that broke my heart: if she would need the NICU. Beth said she shouldn't, but some 37 week babies do better than others. This was about 4:45 pm.
All I can say is that God was with us. Apparently, Heather has c-sections better on short notice! My doctor came in to talk to us before the surgery. We asked what had gone wrong. She said my placenta wasn't working properly and it was time to get Rachel out. The anesthesiologist came in to talk to me. I was really nervous about this, but felt better after talking to the woman who was going to do my spinal. I was so thankful it wasn't the man who did it last time. Matt called our parents and got everything rolling with them about finding child care for Josh and letting them know what was going on. The lab came up to take blood. When my labs came back, off to surgery we went. It was a little after 6:00 pm.
Surgery was so much better this time. I was so pleased. I handled getting the spinal a lot better. It didn't really hurt! Beth was with me through the prep and getting the spinal in. Then my doctor and her partner came in. Then they allowed Matt in about 6:25 or 6:30. The spinal made me sicker this time. I got a bad headache, I was shaking horribly, and I felt so nauseous, but the woman anesthesiologist (Lisa) was wonderful and she did everything she could to help. She helped with the nausea and the headache. She couldn't do anything about the shaking; it comes with the anesthesia. Rachel was born at 6:50 pm. They let us see her. She was so beautiful. She was breathing well and not jaundiced. Her apgar scores were 6 and 9. The second one was almost perfect. The consensus before she went to recovery with Matt was that she probably wouldn't need NICU. Praise God!
They sent Matt with Rachel to the recovery room (which is what happens with a normal c-section at our hospital). My doctors finished up with stitching me back together. I was not put to sleep this time which I was pleased about. I made it to the recovery room about 7:25. Matt and Rachel were there waiting for me. Our night nurse was doing Rachel's assessment. Rachel ended up measuring (in age) closer to a 39 week baby. I couldn't believe how that was possible. Rachel weighed 5 pounds 7 ounces (2 pounds more than her brother; she was a little small from my bad case of anemia and because of the placenta issue) and she was 19 inches long (2 inches longer than her brother). She was so beautiful. I got to hold her in recovery. There were a few tears in recovery. I did it! I was so happy! After her assessment, I asked our nurse about her prognosis. The nurse said she was doing good, and that she should not need the NICU. Rachel got her first bath and her first feeding in the recovery room.
We made it back to our room at 9:00. I was so thankful and feeling so blessed. We stayed at the hospital until Friday early afternoon. Rachel never needed to go to the NICU. She made a couple trips to the regular nursery for routine things like her hearing test and her vitamin K shot. Rachel roomed in with us our entire stay. I couldn't be more pleased! Everything worked out wonderfully. I am so thankful to God, and so thankful to my OB for getting me to this point. God gave me everything I could have wanted. It was the exact opposite of Josh. When I left the hospital Friday, I was wheeled out with my baby in my arms, just like it is supposed to be. I cried a little on the way home. This was what I had been waiting for. This was what I needed. This was the best day!
That morning I was supposed to go in for a doctor's appointment at 10:30. At 8:00, the receptionist at my OB's office called and said my OB had to go in for an emergency delivery. So we rescheduled my appointment for Friday. About 8:45 the terrible contractions returned: fiercer, stronger, and longer than they had ever been. It got to the point where I had trouble talking or thinking because of the pain. I felt like we had to be getting closer. 9:30 AM: back pain; terrible, horrible pain like I had never felt before. I diligently counted and timed my contractions off and on for two hours. At some time past 11:00 I called my OB's office. She had not returned to the office yet. I spoke with the nurse. We discussed my symptoms and she felt I needed to be seen in L&D at the hospital, especially since my contractions were longer and the back pain was unbearable.
So back we went to L&D for the fourth time (I think). We dropped Josh at my in-laws and headed to the hospital. I was nervous. We got to the hospital around 12:15. Once I got up to a room and connected to the monitors it was apparent I was having the kind of contractions they wanted me to (YES!), but then came the bad news: I was no more dialated than I was exactly one week before at my OB appointment (you have to be kidding me! What are these contractions doing?!) My nurse, Beth, was wonderful. She was on the phone with my doctor trying to figure out what to do. I can't be induced because I had a previous c-section. Induction causes harder and stronger contractions which could cause a uterine rupture. Plus, my OB expressed that even if she could induce, she wouldn't want to do it before 38 weeks at the absolute minimum, unless it was necessary to induce before. I was 37 weeks and 4 days.
I really think they were just going to send me home even though the consensus appeared to be that I just might be one of those women who had hard contractions and never dialated enough (this was not good news, especially since I wanted to deliver naturally). To me, it seemed like if I was one of the women who wasn't going to dialate, then Rachel was ready to come out. I had been having bad contractions for 2-3 weeks. I felt like my little girl was trying to tell us something. I started to worry and get a little scared at that point.
The hospital has a rule that the baby has to move a certain number of times in a certain amount of time, and also to have a certain heartrate. Beth and my doctor were concerned. Rachel was moving an acceptable amount for a 35 or 36 week baby, but I was almost 38. They needed Rachel to move more, and she just wouldn't do it. They gave me food and sugar drinks to help; still no luck. My doctor ordered a special ultrasound called a Biophysical Profile. It measures the baby in 5 areas with a maximum score of 2 points in each area for a best possible score of 10. So we went down to ultrasound and had this hour long test. The ultrasound tech couldn't tell us anything. We were so anxious.
When we got back to the room. Matt and I were talking. Matt had kept saying in the hospital that afternoon, he didn't want to get sent home again without a baby. He said he just wished they would go ahead and do a section so we could meet Rachel. That was not what I was wanting to hear, even though I wanted to meet Rachel as much as he did. We talked more about that until Beth returned. We asked Beth about the scoring. She said if we got a 7 or better they would leave us alone and we would be sent home. If we scored a 5 or less, we would definitely be delivered and most likely by c-section. I started to get freaked out. This was starting to be like Josh all over again. Beth said she would return when she knew something.
Matt called his mom to let her know what was going on, and practically no time later, Beth returned. I asked how Rachel did. Beth said she scored a 2. I knew Matt would be happy with what that meant, but my heart sank. I asked what we were going to do. She said she had talked to my doctor and we were going to do a c-section that night. I asked what was wrong, and Beth said that all she knew was my uterus was not a safe home for Rachel anymore. I asked if she will be okay. Beth said she should if we get her out soon. Then I asked the question that broke my heart: if she would need the NICU. Beth said she shouldn't, but some 37 week babies do better than others. This was about 4:45 pm.
All I can say is that God was with us. Apparently, Heather has c-sections better on short notice! My doctor came in to talk to us before the surgery. We asked what had gone wrong. She said my placenta wasn't working properly and it was time to get Rachel out. The anesthesiologist came in to talk to me. I was really nervous about this, but felt better after talking to the woman who was going to do my spinal. I was so thankful it wasn't the man who did it last time. Matt called our parents and got everything rolling with them about finding child care for Josh and letting them know what was going on. The lab came up to take blood. When my labs came back, off to surgery we went. It was a little after 6:00 pm.
Surgery was so much better this time. I was so pleased. I handled getting the spinal a lot better. It didn't really hurt! Beth was with me through the prep and getting the spinal in. Then my doctor and her partner came in. Then they allowed Matt in about 6:25 or 6:30. The spinal made me sicker this time. I got a bad headache, I was shaking horribly, and I felt so nauseous, but the woman anesthesiologist (Lisa) was wonderful and she did everything she could to help. She helped with the nausea and the headache. She couldn't do anything about the shaking; it comes with the anesthesia. Rachel was born at 6:50 pm. They let us see her. She was so beautiful. She was breathing well and not jaundiced. Her apgar scores were 6 and 9. The second one was almost perfect. The consensus before she went to recovery with Matt was that she probably wouldn't need NICU. Praise God!
They sent Matt with Rachel to the recovery room (which is what happens with a normal c-section at our hospital). My doctors finished up with stitching me back together. I was not put to sleep this time which I was pleased about. I made it to the recovery room about 7:25. Matt and Rachel were there waiting for me. Our night nurse was doing Rachel's assessment. Rachel ended up measuring (in age) closer to a 39 week baby. I couldn't believe how that was possible. Rachel weighed 5 pounds 7 ounces (2 pounds more than her brother; she was a little small from my bad case of anemia and because of the placenta issue) and she was 19 inches long (2 inches longer than her brother). She was so beautiful. I got to hold her in recovery. There were a few tears in recovery. I did it! I was so happy! After her assessment, I asked our nurse about her prognosis. The nurse said she was doing good, and that she should not need the NICU. Rachel got her first bath and her first feeding in the recovery room.
We made it back to our room at 9:00. I was so thankful and feeling so blessed. We stayed at the hospital until Friday early afternoon. Rachel never needed to go to the NICU. She made a couple trips to the regular nursery for routine things like her hearing test and her vitamin K shot. Rachel roomed in with us our entire stay. I couldn't be more pleased! Everything worked out wonderfully. I am so thankful to God, and so thankful to my OB for getting me to this point. God gave me everything I could have wanted. It was the exact opposite of Josh. When I left the hospital Friday, I was wheeled out with my baby in my arms, just like it is supposed to be. I cried a little on the way home. This was what I had been waiting for. This was what I needed. This was the best day!
Friday, July 13, 2012
The Eve of Full Term
Tomorrow will be a big day for me. I will be considered full term, having made it to 37 weeks! I am so proud and excited! It means if Rachel were born, she would be just fine! After everything we have been through, that is quite an accomplishment! Way to go, Rachel!
I am ready to meet my little girl. These last couple weeks have gone by so slow, especially since I have been getting stronger contractions. I have so many of the symptoms and signals that show labor is on its way, and I am still pregnant. I read many of the women who start showing these signs go into labor within days or a week. I have been dealing with mine for two weeks. Come on, little girl! We are so ready to meet you and you made it to a safe place! Hopefully, labor is just around the corner.
On Wednesday, I found out I am dilated over two centimeters. When I get to a four, they will keep me at the hospital. I have been getting stronger, more painful contractions. Apparently, my contractions just need to get longer. My OB confirmed for me on Wednesday that my internal scar for my c-section was done the preferable way for me to have my girl naturally. I am a candidate for a natural delivery. My doctor believes I have a 70 - 80 % chance of being successful at delivering her myself. The only thing we are worried about is her size. We haven't seen Rachel on ultrasound recently, but the last time we did, her head measured large. That could be an issue with trying to have her naturally. But I want to try. I want to go into labor. I am hoping to go into labor before July 30. She scheduled my section for the 30, and I don't think she would let me even try to have her naturally that day. I assume we would just go ahead and do the section. This pregnancy is concluding the exact opposite way of everything we dealt with when we had Josh. I am so blessed.
I have another appointment Wednesday. I will update again after that or when we have a little girl! Please remember us in prayer in the coming weeks because I am getting anxious. But I know my little girl is in God's hands, just like she has been this whole time!
I am ready to meet my little girl. These last couple weeks have gone by so slow, especially since I have been getting stronger contractions. I have so many of the symptoms and signals that show labor is on its way, and I am still pregnant. I read many of the women who start showing these signs go into labor within days or a week. I have been dealing with mine for two weeks. Come on, little girl! We are so ready to meet you and you made it to a safe place! Hopefully, labor is just around the corner.
On Wednesday, I found out I am dilated over two centimeters. When I get to a four, they will keep me at the hospital. I have been getting stronger, more painful contractions. Apparently, my contractions just need to get longer. My OB confirmed for me on Wednesday that my internal scar for my c-section was done the preferable way for me to have my girl naturally. I am a candidate for a natural delivery. My doctor believes I have a 70 - 80 % chance of being successful at delivering her myself. The only thing we are worried about is her size. We haven't seen Rachel on ultrasound recently, but the last time we did, her head measured large. That could be an issue with trying to have her naturally. But I want to try. I want to go into labor. I am hoping to go into labor before July 30. She scheduled my section for the 30, and I don't think she would let me even try to have her naturally that day. I assume we would just go ahead and do the section. This pregnancy is concluding the exact opposite way of everything we dealt with when we had Josh. I am so blessed.
I have another appointment Wednesday. I will update again after that or when we have a little girl! Please remember us in prayer in the coming weeks because I am getting anxious. But I know my little girl is in God's hands, just like she has been this whole time!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Almost full term and a lot of false labor
The title of today's blog are the things that are consuming my mind right now. First of all, today is the end of day 2 of my 36th week of pregnancy! What an accomplishment! Tomorrow I will basically be 36 1/2 weeks pregnant. And 37 weeks is considered full term. I will be there Saturday! If Rachel is born after tomorrow, unless she had a bad problem, she would most likely leave the hospital with us! Yay! I would really like to make 37 weeks, but if I delivered this week it would still be an accomplishment. I made it far: no preeclampsia, no pre-term labor, no bedrest, no steroid shots, and most likely no NICU!
All I can say is wow. I am so thrilled! I want to be happy and proud, and don't get me wrong, I certainly am, but I recognize this is nothing I did. God has been watching out for my little angel girl and taking care of both of us every step of the way. And in a matter of days or just a few short weeks, I will be mom to not one, but two miracle children. All children are gifts from God and pure miracles, but my two are especially.
The second thing on my mind: false labor. Yuck! I am experiencing it a lot. I wonder daily if I know when the real thing will happen. My doctor scheduled my repeat section for July 30, but if I go into labor before then we will have a baby. It doesn't help that my doctor said she didn't think I would last until the 30th. And it also doesn't help that I have a lot of the signs and symptoms that labor is approaching. So I start experiencing these things and think labor is just around the corner, and then come to find out, that unless my water breaks or I am having real contractions, then labor is not immediate (and apparently only about 15% of women have their water break on their own before they get to the hospital). All the other symptoms can mean labor is days away or still weeks away. Well, I have been experiencing my symptoms for two weeks on Wednesday, so needless to say labor was not very close. Hopefully it will be within a week or two. I do not want to wait to meet my little girl. I am so ready now, especially if I know she can come home with us!
Plus. I really don't want to go in for a scheduled c-section, even though that would be better than a surprise or emergency section like I had last time. My OB said if I went into labor on my own then she would let me try labor and if I could do it and wanted to then I could have a baby naturally. I want to try labor. It would be the perfect ending to my perfect pregnancy. It would make up for everything I missed last time. I would be the happiest girl in the world. There was just one thing we needed to know before we could make that decision: we needed to find out if my internal scar was vertical or horizontal. It appears my internal scar was done horizontally, which is what we wanted and which means I can labor. That was encouraging. I still need to talk to my doctor a little more about this, but I anticipate giving labor a try. I see my doctor again on Wednesday, so hopefully I will have some more idea about what may be ahead for me and Rachel in the coming days. I will update again after my appointment Wednesday.
All I can say is wow. I am so thrilled! I want to be happy and proud, and don't get me wrong, I certainly am, but I recognize this is nothing I did. God has been watching out for my little angel girl and taking care of both of us every step of the way. And in a matter of days or just a few short weeks, I will be mom to not one, but two miracle children. All children are gifts from God and pure miracles, but my two are especially.
The second thing on my mind: false labor. Yuck! I am experiencing it a lot. I wonder daily if I know when the real thing will happen. My doctor scheduled my repeat section for July 30, but if I go into labor before then we will have a baby. It doesn't help that my doctor said she didn't think I would last until the 30th. And it also doesn't help that I have a lot of the signs and symptoms that labor is approaching. So I start experiencing these things and think labor is just around the corner, and then come to find out, that unless my water breaks or I am having real contractions, then labor is not immediate (and apparently only about 15% of women have their water break on their own before they get to the hospital). All the other symptoms can mean labor is days away or still weeks away. Well, I have been experiencing my symptoms for two weeks on Wednesday, so needless to say labor was not very close. Hopefully it will be within a week or two. I do not want to wait to meet my little girl. I am so ready now, especially if I know she can come home with us!
Plus. I really don't want to go in for a scheduled c-section, even though that would be better than a surprise or emergency section like I had last time. My OB said if I went into labor on my own then she would let me try labor and if I could do it and wanted to then I could have a baby naturally. I want to try labor. It would be the perfect ending to my perfect pregnancy. It would make up for everything I missed last time. I would be the happiest girl in the world. There was just one thing we needed to know before we could make that decision: we needed to find out if my internal scar was vertical or horizontal. It appears my internal scar was done horizontally, which is what we wanted and which means I can labor. That was encouraging. I still need to talk to my doctor a little more about this, but I anticipate giving labor a try. I see my doctor again on Wednesday, so hopefully I will have some more idea about what may be ahead for me and Rachel in the coming days. I will update again after my appointment Wednesday.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
What A Difference A Day Makes!
Today I am a new woman; a woman with options! Yesterday I had no options. But today, a new world of possibilities have been presented to me. A day really can change so much! This may not be a big deal to some, but it's a big deal to me.
I had my appointment with my OB today. If I haven't mentioned that I love my OB, well, now you know. She is remarkable! Switching and making her the provider of my female care was the best decision I made. I just felt I needed to get a new doctor after Joshua and his situation. It wasn't because I was mad at them or didn't trust them, although they did do me wrong. My decision was because of the bad memories I would have. God was looking out for me in this decision!
So we got some news today. My OB is pleased with my progress and she is encouraged that we are going to make it! Praise God! No signs of preeclampsia! Again, praise God! I had a physical exam today and am a little more than a centimeter dialated. My cervix is low and soft and getting ready to go. And then the surprising news: baby girl has dropped and is in birth position. My OB felt her head! My OB has scheduled my c-section for July 30 because medically she cannot schedule it sooner without a reason, and I am giving her no reason. On the 30th, I will be 39 weeks and 2 days, but she does not think I will go that long! She thinks I will surprise her, like I have been my whole pregnancy. She thinks I will go into labor on my own before the 30th.
So what does that mean? If I go into labor on my own and progress nicely, I may be able to have Rachel, actually give birth to her! If you know my story and experience with Josh, you know this is a big deal. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. It unnerves me that we know the day Rachel could be born, but that I may not make it to that point. I could go into labor any time really. My OB says it could be in about 3 weeks, which puts me at 37 1/2 weeks! Wow!
I am not trying to get my hopes up, but I can possibly have options now. And the best part is that these options can be on my terms. If labor gets too hard or I am not progressing like I would like to be, I can ask for the c-section. I have another appointment on July 9. We will talk about it more then. The doctor was going to check to make sure that my interior scar is horizontal because she wasn't sure since she didn't do it. If that scar is vertical, it throws my chances out the window. If my scar is horizontal then I think we need to talk about some pros and cons and some realistic goals and expectations for me to have if I go into labor on my own. If I don't go into labor by the 30th, then none of this is an issue.
If you know me well, you know this may have been difficult for me to hear. I am such a planner by nature. And the plan has been from the beginning to have a c-section. I have been dreading it, mainly the anesthesia, but have prepared myself because I have gotten through it before. I also have been telling myself that if I didn't have preeclampsia this time, then recovery would start out easier. I have prepared myself for the c-section so much that the thought of something else disrupted my planning nature. It was such a shock! Plus, this has been what I wanted so bad for so long, if it doesn't happen I don't want to be crushed. I don't want to go through 18 hours of labor, just for it to end in an emergency section. This is a decision that Matt and I will be talking about over the next few days. I don't have to try labor, but I might be able to. Stay tuned to see what happens.
I had my appointment with my OB today. If I haven't mentioned that I love my OB, well, now you know. She is remarkable! Switching and making her the provider of my female care was the best decision I made. I just felt I needed to get a new doctor after Joshua and his situation. It wasn't because I was mad at them or didn't trust them, although they did do me wrong. My decision was because of the bad memories I would have. God was looking out for me in this decision!
So we got some news today. My OB is pleased with my progress and she is encouraged that we are going to make it! Praise God! No signs of preeclampsia! Again, praise God! I had a physical exam today and am a little more than a centimeter dialated. My cervix is low and soft and getting ready to go. And then the surprising news: baby girl has dropped and is in birth position. My OB felt her head! My OB has scheduled my c-section for July 30 because medically she cannot schedule it sooner without a reason, and I am giving her no reason. On the 30th, I will be 39 weeks and 2 days, but she does not think I will go that long! She thinks I will surprise her, like I have been my whole pregnancy. She thinks I will go into labor on my own before the 30th.
So what does that mean? If I go into labor on my own and progress nicely, I may be able to have Rachel, actually give birth to her! If you know my story and experience with Josh, you know this is a big deal. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. It unnerves me that we know the day Rachel could be born, but that I may not make it to that point. I could go into labor any time really. My OB says it could be in about 3 weeks, which puts me at 37 1/2 weeks! Wow!
I am not trying to get my hopes up, but I can possibly have options now. And the best part is that these options can be on my terms. If labor gets too hard or I am not progressing like I would like to be, I can ask for the c-section. I have another appointment on July 9. We will talk about it more then. The doctor was going to check to make sure that my interior scar is horizontal because she wasn't sure since she didn't do it. If that scar is vertical, it throws my chances out the window. If my scar is horizontal then I think we need to talk about some pros and cons and some realistic goals and expectations for me to have if I go into labor on my own. If I don't go into labor by the 30th, then none of this is an issue.
If you know me well, you know this may have been difficult for me to hear. I am such a planner by nature. And the plan has been from the beginning to have a c-section. I have been dreading it, mainly the anesthesia, but have prepared myself because I have gotten through it before. I also have been telling myself that if I didn't have preeclampsia this time, then recovery would start out easier. I have prepared myself for the c-section so much that the thought of something else disrupted my planning nature. It was such a shock! Plus, this has been what I wanted so bad for so long, if it doesn't happen I don't want to be crushed. I don't want to go through 18 hours of labor, just for it to end in an emergency section. This is a decision that Matt and I will be talking about over the next few days. I don't have to try labor, but I might be able to. Stay tuned to see what happens.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
It's My Turn!
It's my turn! That's how I feel right now! I am next on the list of people I know to have a baby. Woo Hoo!
I didn't ever think I would get to this point, and I mean that in two ways. First of all, I thought I could possibly deliver before some of the ladies I know who had a due date before me. And secondly, this point at the end of June has taken forever to get here. I have been waiting for these friends, acquaintances, and family members to have their kids so my turn would be one step closer.
Boy, has it been a long wait! Since April, I have known 9 or 10 women whose due dates have come and gone. I have anxiously awaited the birth of their babies, like I have been awaiting the birth of my own. Each baby born was one more ticked off the list; one step closer to Rachel's turn. And I am next on the list. Anytime in the next 5 weeks, I will enter an OR with Rachel in my belly, and I will come out with a precious, little angel in my arms. This is what I have been waiting for.
It felt really good last week to realize my time is coming. 4-5 weeks feels so close, but yet so far. It feels so far because I know what it would mean for my second miracle baby if she were born now. But her brother made it, and I know she could too. But the one piece of good news is I am past the point of steroid shots being beneficial to us if a problem were to arise. Baby girl's lungs would be able to function and will be fully formed by 35 weeks (Saturday), they just need more practice!
Last week, on the 20th, my cousin's wife and a friend of mine both had their first babies on the same day. They were the last two before me. I was ecstatic for them, and then it sunk in: I won't be watching and waiting for news of anyone else having a baby because next it will be me! I know several women who are due after me: 4 to be exact. I told Matt that I hope they don't go before me because this is my turn. Plus, I would be worried for them, knowing that it would be too early for these babies.
The best thing about all of this is realizing the gift I have been given. I watched most of these friends of mine announce their pregnancies. I was always happy, never jealous. But part of me was wondering if I would ever have another biological child; if I should even consider or try to do that. I told God if He wanted me to have another baby, He needed to make it happen. And through this pregnancy He has taught me to trust, and I have a deeper faith. Here I am at almost 34 1/2 weeks, almost 2 weeks further than I went with Josh and all I can say is I am blessed. I didn't do anything to get here. He is watching out for us. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow, so we will see what we find out about our miracle, Rachel!
I didn't ever think I would get to this point, and I mean that in two ways. First of all, I thought I could possibly deliver before some of the ladies I know who had a due date before me. And secondly, this point at the end of June has taken forever to get here. I have been waiting for these friends, acquaintances, and family members to have their kids so my turn would be one step closer.
Boy, has it been a long wait! Since April, I have known 9 or 10 women whose due dates have come and gone. I have anxiously awaited the birth of their babies, like I have been awaiting the birth of my own. Each baby born was one more ticked off the list; one step closer to Rachel's turn. And I am next on the list. Anytime in the next 5 weeks, I will enter an OR with Rachel in my belly, and I will come out with a precious, little angel in my arms. This is what I have been waiting for.
It felt really good last week to realize my time is coming. 4-5 weeks feels so close, but yet so far. It feels so far because I know what it would mean for my second miracle baby if she were born now. But her brother made it, and I know she could too. But the one piece of good news is I am past the point of steroid shots being beneficial to us if a problem were to arise. Baby girl's lungs would be able to function and will be fully formed by 35 weeks (Saturday), they just need more practice!
Last week, on the 20th, my cousin's wife and a friend of mine both had their first babies on the same day. They were the last two before me. I was ecstatic for them, and then it sunk in: I won't be watching and waiting for news of anyone else having a baby because next it will be me! I know several women who are due after me: 4 to be exact. I told Matt that I hope they don't go before me because this is my turn. Plus, I would be worried for them, knowing that it would be too early for these babies.
The best thing about all of this is realizing the gift I have been given. I watched most of these friends of mine announce their pregnancies. I was always happy, never jealous. But part of me was wondering if I would ever have another biological child; if I should even consider or try to do that. I told God if He wanted me to have another baby, He needed to make it happen. And through this pregnancy He has taught me to trust, and I have a deeper faith. Here I am at almost 34 1/2 weeks, almost 2 weeks further than I went with Josh and all I can say is I am blessed. I didn't do anything to get here. He is watching out for us. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow, so we will see what we find out about our miracle, Rachel!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Life at 33 1/2 weeks
Things have been busy the past few weeks. I guess there are two big pieces of news to share. First and foremost, I have been commissioned!! It has been a long, hard road, but I made it. I appreciate the love, support, and prayers of everyone along this journey. Last week at Annual Conference (Sunday - Wednesday) on the last day, I was commissioned with my peers. It was a beautiful and humbling experience. I thoroughly enjoyed the service. I enjoyed seeing some friends of mine get ordained, and felt hopeful knowing that I will be there in a few years. My experience was made even more beautiful by feeling my precious daughter moving around. It's like she knew it was a special day for me. I was pregnant with Josh at seminary graduation and I shared my commissioning experience with little Ms. Rachel. I am extremely blessed. What big surprises will I have when I get ordained?
The second piece of big news: I am 33 1/2 weeks pregnant and STILL pregnant. I am currently pregnant now longer than I was with Josh by 6 days. Last week when I reached the day where I gave birth to Josh, there were a lot of tears. Tears over Josh being born early and everything he had to go through. Tears over the early ending of that pregnancy. And then on Friday, when I had been pregnant one day longer, there were overwhelming tears of joy. I felt joy and blessed and humbled. I was so thankful to still be pregnant, and blessed that it appears there is no reason Rachel should come early.
Overall, I still feel good. That is such a relief, especially since I felt so bad while I was pregnant with Josh. I am dealing with some minor inconveniences that I missed out on with Josh. I get up at least 2 times every night to go to the bathroom, but normally, it is closer to 4 times a night. I am experiencing horrid heartburn and some uncomfortable, pretty constant back pain, which is on top of the sciatica I was already experiencing. But these later pregnancy problems are worth it if I can carry Rachel close to term.
My next appointment is a week from today. After that appointment, I will go to the doctor weekly and can probably expect to have weekly non-stress tests. My OB originally said she would deliver me around 39 weeks. The exact date appears to be between 38 1/2 and 39 1/2 weeks (Somewhere between July 25 and August 1). But if the non-stress tests show us that Rachel needs to come earlier, my doctor won't hesitate to deliver her at 37 or 38 if she has to. So we have not scheduled my delivery yet, but I am hoping to have an idea soon. I am also hoping to see Rachel at my next appointment to see how big she is. I have also been wondering if I have dialated or effaced any. At my 31 week appointment with Josh the process had already started. I will be certain to update after my appointment next week. Until then.
The second piece of big news: I am 33 1/2 weeks pregnant and STILL pregnant. I am currently pregnant now longer than I was with Josh by 6 days. Last week when I reached the day where I gave birth to Josh, there were a lot of tears. Tears over Josh being born early and everything he had to go through. Tears over the early ending of that pregnancy. And then on Friday, when I had been pregnant one day longer, there were overwhelming tears of joy. I felt joy and blessed and humbled. I was so thankful to still be pregnant, and blessed that it appears there is no reason Rachel should come early.
Overall, I still feel good. That is such a relief, especially since I felt so bad while I was pregnant with Josh. I am dealing with some minor inconveniences that I missed out on with Josh. I get up at least 2 times every night to go to the bathroom, but normally, it is closer to 4 times a night. I am experiencing horrid heartburn and some uncomfortable, pretty constant back pain, which is on top of the sciatica I was already experiencing. But these later pregnancy problems are worth it if I can carry Rachel close to term.
My next appointment is a week from today. After that appointment, I will go to the doctor weekly and can probably expect to have weekly non-stress tests. My OB originally said she would deliver me around 39 weeks. The exact date appears to be between 38 1/2 and 39 1/2 weeks (Somewhere between July 25 and August 1). But if the non-stress tests show us that Rachel needs to come earlier, my doctor won't hesitate to deliver her at 37 or 38 if she has to. So we have not scheduled my delivery yet, but I am hoping to have an idea soon. I am also hoping to see Rachel at my next appointment to see how big she is. I have also been wondering if I have dialated or effaced any. At my 31 week appointment with Josh the process had already started. I will be certain to update after my appointment next week. Until then.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Delivery Expectations
We have been thinking a lot about Rachel's delivery. I have been trying to plan as much as I can. If you know me well, this will make sense to you. I am a planner. I want to know as much as I can ahead of time. We did not have that luxury with Joshua. Nothing was planned. We went into the hospital on Saturday night/Sunday morning around 12:30 AM and Josh was born just before 10 AM. We thought we would only be spending a few days at the hospital, and that Josh would come early, but not that early. Boy, were we in for a shock!
I have heard many people talk about the importance of a birthplan, and mine was not followed at all last time due to our dire circumstances. My OB encouraged me to still come up with one for this pregnancy. We know the mode of delivery, but so much more goes into this. At my appointment on Wednesday, I decided that the best way to come up with these minute details of my birthplan was to talk to my OB about what happened during my last c-section. I really needed some clarification about my experience. I particularly wanted to know what I experienced because of preeclampsia, and what is standard c-section procedure at our local hospital. This came to my mind after talking with other women who had c-sections and reading about experiences online. I began to see that a lot of what I dealt with was not considered standard for a section. It was a very informative and helpful conversation. I was able to talk about some of the things I didn't like last time and to understand why I experienced some of it. For example, I was closed up with staples last time, and I heard from other women it is better with stitches, so my doctor will use stitches. My OB says this should be a very different experience. She recognizes that my last experience was not normal and on top of giving birth to a preemie, the section and everything was not a good experience. At least now my OB knows my wishes and she is going to do her best to keep my plan.
During this pregnancy, a lot of my time has been spent thinking about my delivery. I will be honest, I have spent a lot of time dreading this repeat section and being afraid. But I feel better after my conversation with the doctor. I know a lot of what happened last time may not need to happen this time. I am still apprehensive about having the spinal. That was not a pleasant experience for me. But when I think about where we are headed, I feel pure joy. What matters is that Rachel gets here the safest way possible and that she is as healthy as possible. And right now, we have every reason to believe that she will not be here until the end of July. I can't explain how happy I will be if we carry her to term. When they pull her out and I see her, nothing else will matter; not the spinal, not the surgery, nothing. What will matter is having a healthy baby girl that will leave the hospital with us. I will have accomplished so much of what I missed last time. The feelings will be nothing but pure joy, relief, and accomplishment. And I know when I leave the hospital with that baby girl in my arms I will cry tears of joy because I don't have to hurt the way I hurt last time. It will be a great thing. And I am so excited knowing that is just around the corner! Some women talk about being proud of their c-section scar. I never have been. My scar from Josh has been a bad reminder; a reminder of pain, grief, and distress. I know without that scar my little boy would not be here. But if Rachel goes to term and comes home with us, that scar will have turned from bad to good. It will be a badge of honor; finally something I can be proud of.
I can't wait to see what the coming months hold for us. Rachel could be here two months from today! That is unreal. If not in two months, then a week after at the most! I will just be so happy to have her here. I can't wait to meet her and to hold her. And I know that no matter when she comes, or how, that she is in God's hands just like our little boy was. That is a promise I do not doubt. God will never leave my baby girl.
I have heard many people talk about the importance of a birthplan, and mine was not followed at all last time due to our dire circumstances. My OB encouraged me to still come up with one for this pregnancy. We know the mode of delivery, but so much more goes into this. At my appointment on Wednesday, I decided that the best way to come up with these minute details of my birthplan was to talk to my OB about what happened during my last c-section. I really needed some clarification about my experience. I particularly wanted to know what I experienced because of preeclampsia, and what is standard c-section procedure at our local hospital. This came to my mind after talking with other women who had c-sections and reading about experiences online. I began to see that a lot of what I dealt with was not considered standard for a section. It was a very informative and helpful conversation. I was able to talk about some of the things I didn't like last time and to understand why I experienced some of it. For example, I was closed up with staples last time, and I heard from other women it is better with stitches, so my doctor will use stitches. My OB says this should be a very different experience. She recognizes that my last experience was not normal and on top of giving birth to a preemie, the section and everything was not a good experience. At least now my OB knows my wishes and she is going to do her best to keep my plan.
During this pregnancy, a lot of my time has been spent thinking about my delivery. I will be honest, I have spent a lot of time dreading this repeat section and being afraid. But I feel better after my conversation with the doctor. I know a lot of what happened last time may not need to happen this time. I am still apprehensive about having the spinal. That was not a pleasant experience for me. But when I think about where we are headed, I feel pure joy. What matters is that Rachel gets here the safest way possible and that she is as healthy as possible. And right now, we have every reason to believe that she will not be here until the end of July. I can't explain how happy I will be if we carry her to term. When they pull her out and I see her, nothing else will matter; not the spinal, not the surgery, nothing. What will matter is having a healthy baby girl that will leave the hospital with us. I will have accomplished so much of what I missed last time. The feelings will be nothing but pure joy, relief, and accomplishment. And I know when I leave the hospital with that baby girl in my arms I will cry tears of joy because I don't have to hurt the way I hurt last time. It will be a great thing. And I am so excited knowing that is just around the corner! Some women talk about being proud of their c-section scar. I never have been. My scar from Josh has been a bad reminder; a reminder of pain, grief, and distress. I know without that scar my little boy would not be here. But if Rachel goes to term and comes home with us, that scar will have turned from bad to good. It will be a badge of honor; finally something I can be proud of.
I can't wait to see what the coming months hold for us. Rachel could be here two months from today! That is unreal. If not in two months, then a week after at the most! I will just be so happy to have her here. I can't wait to meet her and to hold her. And I know that no matter when she comes, or how, that she is in God's hands just like our little boy was. That is a promise I do not doubt. God will never leave my baby girl.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Miss Rachel
What is new with our little angel girl? Well, I don't know as much as I wish I did. Yesterday (Wednesday) I had another OB appointment. I was hoping for an ultrasound, but I did not receive one because I received so many early and our insurance will only cover so many. So I will receive one in two weeks. Most women love seeing their little baby on ultrasound, but I have a particular interest in it. Rachel's size means everything to me. It is what gives me hope. Rachel has measured a little ahead the entire time. Babies that measure ahead do not typically have preeclampsia. We know all about that first hand. When we gave birth to Josh at 32 weeks and 5 days, Joshua weighed 3 pounds 7 ounces. He should have weighed around 4 1/2 pounds. It is surreal to me just thinking that in a week or 10 days (in the 31 week range), I should be carrying a baby that weighs more than the boy I gave birth to 2 1/2 years ago.
We had a successful visit. Rachel is doing well. And Mommy is fine too. I have still been given the okay to go to Annual Conference for commissioning. We will see what my appointment in two weeks holds! This was the first time I saw my OB since my hospital visit the other Friday. We discussed all my tests and blood work. She was very pleased. At one point in time I found myself wondering why we keep redoing all these tests. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to have a doctor who knows what she is doing and who is so cautious. But I am so cautious also, and I really hate this expectation for something to go wrong that has been clouding this pregnancy. This is likely my last pregnancy. I should enjoy it while I can, because I know me and one day I will say that I miss it!
I am floored that I will be 30 weeks on Saturday! This one has gone fast! There was a time when I wondered if I would even make it this far. The expectation among some doctors and researchers is that if you have a bad case of preeclampsia then you will get it again, and likely even earlier. My case of preeclampsia was not one of the worst. I did not develop eclampsia or HELLP syndrome, but it was serious, serious enough to schedule a c-section because my blood pressure was so high that I could have had a stroke if I had gone into labor with Joshua. Each day and week further along that I make it with Rachel is good news. I am thankful for each day. And right now, I am thankful for the normal pregnancy I am being blessed with after such a horrible experience with preeclampsia.
Tomorrow (Friday) will be two months to the day of the earliest possible day my OB will deliver Rachel; if there are no complications that require an earlier delivery. Rachel could be here in 60 days and probably no later than 70 days! That is just around the corner! I am so excited! I can't wait to meet her, hold her, kiss her, to introduce her to her brother, and to just be thankful for God's blessing to our family. Our family will really be complete when she is here. One little boy and one little girl; both equally miraculous and both a reflection of the Father's goodness and faithfulness. In the meantime, I will try to enjoy the last weeks of my last pregnancy. These are the days I missed out on last time. I don't know if someone can really enjoy excessive heartburn and 4 trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but I am sure going to try! I felt robbed last time, so I am going to be like a sponge and soak up everything I can!
We had a successful visit. Rachel is doing well. And Mommy is fine too. I have still been given the okay to go to Annual Conference for commissioning. We will see what my appointment in two weeks holds! This was the first time I saw my OB since my hospital visit the other Friday. We discussed all my tests and blood work. She was very pleased. At one point in time I found myself wondering why we keep redoing all these tests. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to have a doctor who knows what she is doing and who is so cautious. But I am so cautious also, and I really hate this expectation for something to go wrong that has been clouding this pregnancy. This is likely my last pregnancy. I should enjoy it while I can, because I know me and one day I will say that I miss it!
I am floored that I will be 30 weeks on Saturday! This one has gone fast! There was a time when I wondered if I would even make it this far. The expectation among some doctors and researchers is that if you have a bad case of preeclampsia then you will get it again, and likely even earlier. My case of preeclampsia was not one of the worst. I did not develop eclampsia or HELLP syndrome, but it was serious, serious enough to schedule a c-section because my blood pressure was so high that I could have had a stroke if I had gone into labor with Joshua. Each day and week further along that I make it with Rachel is good news. I am thankful for each day. And right now, I am thankful for the normal pregnancy I am being blessed with after such a horrible experience with preeclampsia.
Tomorrow (Friday) will be two months to the day of the earliest possible day my OB will deliver Rachel; if there are no complications that require an earlier delivery. Rachel could be here in 60 days and probably no later than 70 days! That is just around the corner! I am so excited! I can't wait to meet her, hold her, kiss her, to introduce her to her brother, and to just be thankful for God's blessing to our family. Our family will really be complete when she is here. One little boy and one little girl; both equally miraculous and both a reflection of the Father's goodness and faithfulness. In the meantime, I will try to enjoy the last weeks of my last pregnancy. These are the days I missed out on last time. I don't know if someone can really enjoy excessive heartburn and 4 trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but I am sure going to try! I felt robbed last time, so I am going to be like a sponge and soak up everything I can!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Children
My husband and I were talking about the future the other day. As humans, why can't we leave the future alone? My experience has been that I make plans, and God must find my plans humorous because they hardly ever come out the way I want them to. My plans change as I seek to follow God's will. So anyway, we were discussing the future the other night; one particular part of the future. We were lying in bed after Matt got home from work (he works second shift) so it was around 12:30, and I said to him, "I can't believe I might be pregnant for the last time." We talked about that for just a moment, but we drifted off to sleep. The next day I mentioned our discussion again, about deciding whether or not we would have more. I told my husband we needed to make a decision. He looked at me and said, "Two's enough. For now. Isn't it?" I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. I probably had just as much confusion in mine. We have never been the parents of two children before. We don't know what to expect!
I have always envisioned that I would be the mom of three children. Growing up I was one of two and I wished so badly that I came from a big family. I wanted more siblings, particularly a brother. Matt and I talked before we got married and we felt like three children was a good number. But as I said, I make plans and God laughs. I have begun to wonder about having more children because I need to think about whether I want my tubes tied. I will be having another c-section and if I want it done, that is the time to do it. After some discussion with my OB we discovered that I may not be the best candidate for that with my normal hormone/cycle issues, but I like the idea of permanent birth control because I can't take the pill. We have a big decision to make and I find myself asking a lot of questions.
I look at stopping at two children quite favorably sometimes. I will have a boy and a girl. Another thing is that I won't have to be pregnant ever again; won't have to worry about complications or preeclampsia. I won't ever have to recover from another c-section. Then my focus will be on raising children and on my career. Plus, I have always told Matt that I want to be able to provide well for the children we have. I want them to have everything they need, some of what they want, and to be able to participate in extra-curricular activities like dance or sports; things that cost money. I also want to be able to help my children buy their first vehicle and get through college. I imagine that would be so hard with more children. Matt and I could do it well for Joshua and Rachel. I don't want to sacrifice our nest egg or our leisure activities all the time because we have so many children to provide for.
But then I think about having another child. I always wanted three. Matt and I have the love to give. We both are passionate about adoption, especially when we consider Jesus' command to care for the orphan. Adoption means I wouldn't have to be pregnant again. It isn't about biological children for us. After Joshua was born, we didn't know if we would ever have another biological child of our own. We thought we would adopt. I make plans, God laughs. We could provide for three children, we would just have to make more sacrifices. But then I think of how many different directions three children could pull us. And I intend to always be a career woman because I was called by God into ministry. And then I think about the stereotypes of pastor's children. It would be a lot easier to raise two well adjusted children and to give two children the attention they need and deserve.
I am having to learn it isn't about having three children just because I always wanted three. It's a family decision and time and money are factors. Someone once told me that if you want something badly, but it's not something God wants for you He will take away your desire for that or give you something to take it's place. Maybe God hasn't planned for me to have three children, and after Rachel gets here I will know two is enough and my heart will be full and complete. I am trusting that God will show us the answer when the time is right. Right now I am just trying to be thankful for all we have. We weren't even planning on Rachel. I wasn't trying to get pregnant; I was too scared. I told God that if He wanted me to have another biological child then He had to make it happen. And God gave us the precious gift of our little Rachel. I am learning not to tell God I don't like something or don't plan on doing something because I can almost guarantee if I say that He will make it happen.
And what is it that I have to be thankful for? So much! A loving, Heavenly Father, a great, supportive, wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a job, a home, family and friends, an education, and I could go on. I should give birth to Rachel at the end of July. I will be 29 this year. Before I turn 30, I will have completed 7 years of college and grad school with 3 degrees to show for it. I got married while in grad school; pregnant with my first child while in grad school. I gave birth after I graduated. I will have my second child this summer. I have a job as a pastor where I change lives. I will be commissioned in June, and I will be on my way to ordination all by the time I am 30. That is a lot to be thankful for. I could be done having children before I turn 30. That is an accomplishment, especially when educated, career women like me are waiting longer to have children. But I know, no matter what, God will show us what is right for us and He will do so in his time. And maybe that time will be when I hold Rachel in my arms for the first time.
I have always envisioned that I would be the mom of three children. Growing up I was one of two and I wished so badly that I came from a big family. I wanted more siblings, particularly a brother. Matt and I talked before we got married and we felt like three children was a good number. But as I said, I make plans and God laughs. I have begun to wonder about having more children because I need to think about whether I want my tubes tied. I will be having another c-section and if I want it done, that is the time to do it. After some discussion with my OB we discovered that I may not be the best candidate for that with my normal hormone/cycle issues, but I like the idea of permanent birth control because I can't take the pill. We have a big decision to make and I find myself asking a lot of questions.
I look at stopping at two children quite favorably sometimes. I will have a boy and a girl. Another thing is that I won't have to be pregnant ever again; won't have to worry about complications or preeclampsia. I won't ever have to recover from another c-section. Then my focus will be on raising children and on my career. Plus, I have always told Matt that I want to be able to provide well for the children we have. I want them to have everything they need, some of what they want, and to be able to participate in extra-curricular activities like dance or sports; things that cost money. I also want to be able to help my children buy their first vehicle and get through college. I imagine that would be so hard with more children. Matt and I could do it well for Joshua and Rachel. I don't want to sacrifice our nest egg or our leisure activities all the time because we have so many children to provide for.
But then I think about having another child. I always wanted three. Matt and I have the love to give. We both are passionate about adoption, especially when we consider Jesus' command to care for the orphan. Adoption means I wouldn't have to be pregnant again. It isn't about biological children for us. After Joshua was born, we didn't know if we would ever have another biological child of our own. We thought we would adopt. I make plans, God laughs. We could provide for three children, we would just have to make more sacrifices. But then I think of how many different directions three children could pull us. And I intend to always be a career woman because I was called by God into ministry. And then I think about the stereotypes of pastor's children. It would be a lot easier to raise two well adjusted children and to give two children the attention they need and deserve.
I am having to learn it isn't about having three children just because I always wanted three. It's a family decision and time and money are factors. Someone once told me that if you want something badly, but it's not something God wants for you He will take away your desire for that or give you something to take it's place. Maybe God hasn't planned for me to have three children, and after Rachel gets here I will know two is enough and my heart will be full and complete. I am trusting that God will show us the answer when the time is right. Right now I am just trying to be thankful for all we have. We weren't even planning on Rachel. I wasn't trying to get pregnant; I was too scared. I told God that if He wanted me to have another biological child then He had to make it happen. And God gave us the precious gift of our little Rachel. I am learning not to tell God I don't like something or don't plan on doing something because I can almost guarantee if I say that He will make it happen.
And what is it that I have to be thankful for? So much! A loving, Heavenly Father, a great, supportive, wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a job, a home, family and friends, an education, and I could go on. I should give birth to Rachel at the end of July. I will be 29 this year. Before I turn 30, I will have completed 7 years of college and grad school with 3 degrees to show for it. I got married while in grad school; pregnant with my first child while in grad school. I gave birth after I graduated. I will have my second child this summer. I have a job as a pastor where I change lives. I will be commissioned in June, and I will be on my way to ordination all by the time I am 30. That is a lot to be thankful for. I could be done having children before I turn 30. That is an accomplishment, especially when educated, career women like me are waiting longer to have children. But I know, no matter what, God will show us what is right for us and He will do so in his time. And maybe that time will be when I hold Rachel in my arms for the first time.
Monday, May 14, 2012
What's New
Well, it has been awhile since I have written. Things have been busy. A lot has been going on around here. We have been battling allergies in our family on top of all the busyness. Joshua is getting new furniture soon, and we have been getting his room ready for that and Rachel's room ready for the crib and her other furniture. Rachel will have the room that used to be the office so we had a lot of rearranging to do. I have started to wash Rachel's things, and there is a lot of it!
Updates regarding my pregnancy: I passed my second gestational diabetes test! Yay! No diabetes here. It finally felt like things were going well. Nothing else could be wrong. We have checked for everything. I saw my OB last Tuesday and she said everything was looking good. I hated that we didn't get to see my girl on the ultrasound. Hopefully next time. Then on Friday, I ended up at the hospital. I was having contractions that were about 7-8 minutes apart and Rachel wasn't moving much. Matt talked me in to getting checked out, even though I was hesitant. After we got hooked up to the monitors and found Rachel's heartbeat, she started moving around like a crazy girl! Everything ended up being just fine. My contractions were probably a combination of Braxton Hicks and dehydration. You would think that I would learn that I need to drink more! I was a little swollen when I got there so the nurses started to check for preeclampsia. And I did not have the protein or the blood pressure symptom! Praise God! They did the preterm labor test and it came back negative; no labor for me in the next two weeks! I felt really good when we left the hospital. I made a decision when we left the hospital: I am not going to live every day of this pregnancy waiting for something to go wrong. It is in God's hands. He took care of my little boy, and He will take care of Rachel, whatever happens. I have to be reminded pretty frequently that He is the one in control, not me!
I got the ok from my OB to go to Annual Conference this year. I was worried that she would not let me. That means a lot, especially since I am being commissioned. Now, I won't have to miss it! I just pray I don't end up on permanent bedrest between now and then. I am looking forward to a few days away, and another step in my journey being accomplished. It should be a good time.
Updates regarding my pregnancy: I passed my second gestational diabetes test! Yay! No diabetes here. It finally felt like things were going well. Nothing else could be wrong. We have checked for everything. I saw my OB last Tuesday and she said everything was looking good. I hated that we didn't get to see my girl on the ultrasound. Hopefully next time. Then on Friday, I ended up at the hospital. I was having contractions that were about 7-8 minutes apart and Rachel wasn't moving much. Matt talked me in to getting checked out, even though I was hesitant. After we got hooked up to the monitors and found Rachel's heartbeat, she started moving around like a crazy girl! Everything ended up being just fine. My contractions were probably a combination of Braxton Hicks and dehydration. You would think that I would learn that I need to drink more! I was a little swollen when I got there so the nurses started to check for preeclampsia. And I did not have the protein or the blood pressure symptom! Praise God! They did the preterm labor test and it came back negative; no labor for me in the next two weeks! I felt really good when we left the hospital. I made a decision when we left the hospital: I am not going to live every day of this pregnancy waiting for something to go wrong. It is in God's hands. He took care of my little boy, and He will take care of Rachel, whatever happens. I have to be reminded pretty frequently that He is the one in control, not me!
I got the ok from my OB to go to Annual Conference this year. I was worried that she would not let me. That means a lot, especially since I am being commissioned. Now, I won't have to miss it! I just pray I don't end up on permanent bedrest between now and then. I am looking forward to a few days away, and another step in my journey being accomplished. It should be a good time.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
More News
Well, I received some unexpected news on Tuesday. I figured since I was not called on Monday that all was well with my gestational diabetes test. Wrong! They called me on Tuesday (yesterday) to come in today for the longer test. I was worried and anxious. I spent a lot of Tuesday afternoon and evening thinking about what that could mean. So, needless to say, I was not very happy. It just seemed like I was left asking "Now what could go wrong?"
I felt better when I got there this morning and was talking to the lab tech. She said more than half of the pregnant women who come through their office fail the first test. She said it often is due to what the woman eats the day before. Apparently, most women are careful with what they eat the night before, but what you eat that whole day matters. I ate several things that day that could cause my sugar to be high. So, I went today for the longer test. I did not enjoy the three needle sticks. But I will have results tomorrow. I am praying for good results.
Overall, I feel really good. And I still feel very blessed. I think this is another opportunity where God is teaching me that He is in control. I know whatever happens, Rachel and I are in his hands and we will be okay. I will update sometime after the I get the results.
I felt better when I got there this morning and was talking to the lab tech. She said more than half of the pregnant women who come through their office fail the first test. She said it often is due to what the woman eats the day before. Apparently, most women are careful with what they eat the night before, but what you eat that whole day matters. I ate several things that day that could cause my sugar to be high. So, I went today for the longer test. I did not enjoy the three needle sticks. But I will have results tomorrow. I am praying for good results.
Overall, I feel really good. And I still feel very blessed. I think this is another opportunity where God is teaching me that He is in control. I know whatever happens, Rachel and I are in his hands and we will be okay. I will update sometime after the I get the results.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Blessed
Blessed....that is the word that sums up how I feel right now. Things are going well. And I continue to be reminded daily, especially in this pregnancy, that I am not in control. I have no control over anything. And it kind of feels good that it is outside of my hands. All I have to do is take care of myself and pray, God is handling the rest.
Last Thursday I went to Columbia for my interview with the Board of Ordained Ministry. There were ten of us there for interviews. We got started late, but I was one of the ones to be interviewed in the first time slot. I was thankful to get it over with, but it meant I had to wait the rest of the time. And we all know, waiting seems to be the worst part of anything! I finished my interview at 11:05, and I found out my results at about 12:50 my results. I passed!!! I will be getting commissioned at Annual Conference in June, if I don't miss it due to pregnancy issues! I am so excited and proud of myself. I knew I could do it. Thank you to anyone who prayed for me throughout the ordeal. It means so much.
Then on Friday I went back to the OB. My fluid levels were much better. Rachel looked and sounded good. My cervix still looks fine. My blood pressure was low, no excessive protein, and no swelling (pre-eclampsia symptoms) so things seem to be looking good. Rachel is still measuring a tad on the big side. My iron is still a little low, but we are watching that. It is from the anemia, and if that is my only struggle the remainder of my pregnancy, then I am doing good. I took my gestational diabetes test, and was told they would call me today if I needed to take the 3 hour test. I did not get a call, so I am assuming that I did not fail the first test, which means no diabetes. My OB was so pleased at the appointment with how I am doing and how things are going. She even said to me that over the past several weeks she had been looking for, even expecting, something to go wrong, and she just can't find it. She said over the past 2 weeks that they had looked for everything and I am pretty normal. She said this is as close to a textbook pregnancy as you can have after pre-eclampsia. I can't tell you how I feel, other than thankful. I am finally starting to believe that we will get further than I got with Joshua, and maybe even pretty close to term. Please continue to remember us in your prayers!
Last Thursday I went to Columbia for my interview with the Board of Ordained Ministry. There were ten of us there for interviews. We got started late, but I was one of the ones to be interviewed in the first time slot. I was thankful to get it over with, but it meant I had to wait the rest of the time. And we all know, waiting seems to be the worst part of anything! I finished my interview at 11:05, and I found out my results at about 12:50 my results. I passed!!! I will be getting commissioned at Annual Conference in June, if I don't miss it due to pregnancy issues! I am so excited and proud of myself. I knew I could do it. Thank you to anyone who prayed for me throughout the ordeal. It means so much.
Then on Friday I went back to the OB. My fluid levels were much better. Rachel looked and sounded good. My cervix still looks fine. My blood pressure was low, no excessive protein, and no swelling (pre-eclampsia symptoms) so things seem to be looking good. Rachel is still measuring a tad on the big side. My iron is still a little low, but we are watching that. It is from the anemia, and if that is my only struggle the remainder of my pregnancy, then I am doing good. I took my gestational diabetes test, and was told they would call me today if I needed to take the 3 hour test. I did not get a call, so I am assuming that I did not fail the first test, which means no diabetes. My OB was so pleased at the appointment with how I am doing and how things are going. She even said to me that over the past several weeks she had been looking for, even expecting, something to go wrong, and she just can't find it. She said over the past 2 weeks that they had looked for everything and I am pretty normal. She said this is as close to a textbook pregnancy as you can have after pre-eclampsia. I can't tell you how I feel, other than thankful. I am finally starting to believe that we will get further than I got with Joshua, and maybe even pretty close to term. Please continue to remember us in your prayers!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Life at this point in my pregnancy
Hey Everyone! I am sorry it has been an eternity since I have written. I promise I will get to the point with more regular updates.
What can I say? It has been busy. Since I work at a church, Lent and Easter are a busy, busy season. I was happy to have the day after Easter off! This Thursday I go for my final interview for commissioning. If all goes well, I will be commissioned in June! Please keep me in your prayers!
So with Easter, work, chasing after a two year old, normal mom and wife duties, and being pregnant, I have been busy and tired! Our little Rachel is still a Rachel. Three ultrasounds say so! We are excited! I made a registry for her, and it is so much harder to do that for a girl than it is for a boy. There is so much more stuff for girls! It is overwhelming!
This past week I started experiencing some problems with my pregnancy, and you know that worried me. Last Wednesday I was having some minor contractions. My OB said it was probably a little early for Braxton Hicks, so she wanted me to come in. She did an exam and thought I might have an incompetent cervix (means premature delivery - oh no! not again!). She sent me to the hospital to have a detailed ultrasound to check on baby Rachel. Rachel looked really good and healthy. She is even on the big side. The ultrasound tech told me that probably means I won't have preeclampsia again because preeclampsia babies are small (Yay! Great news!). I also have no symptoms at this point, and in my last pregnancy I started with symptoms around 12 weeks (Thank God). Then I had a test to check my cervix. My OB called me on Friday and wanted me to come in ASAP. My cervix, it turns out, is fine. No incompetent cervix. But my amniotic fluid levels were low. They did a non-stress test to check Rachel. Rachel was fine; moving a lot, her heartrate was good, and I was having no contractions. My OB thinks my levels were low because I was dehydrated. She ordered me to drink plenty and rest when I can, but no bedrest. I go back this Friday and we will take my gestational diabetes test to see if I have that. If I do, that could explain some of the dehydration and fluid issues. But we are trusting God that everything is okay with our little angel.
Overall, I feel pretty good. And I feel good about the news from the OB. I hardly ever drink enough when I am not pregnant, so of course it would be an issue when I have a human living inside of me taking my nutrients. I need to work on drinking more overall. I just feel blessed. It appears we have no preeclampsia, we have no incompetent cervix, and I am not at risk for pre-term labor so that all says there is no reason I should not carry Rachel to term. That makes me happy!
Carrying her to term is my goal. In February, my OB asked me at one of my appointments to make one goal for my pregnancy or delivery and she would try to help me achieve that. She said no one's delivery goes as planned, and I had a lot of hiccups with my last one. She said I can't have everything I want, but to pick something and we would focus on that part of my birthplan and try to make it happen. My goal: to bring my little girl home with me. Carrying her to term or very close to it (like 36 weeks) will help me bring her home with me. Now, that is my OB's goal. It is what we are working on. Unless you have been there, you can't possibly know how hard it is to leave your child at the hospital when you are supposed to be at home bonding. And you can't know how bad I felt delivering early. My body appeared to be a hostile environment for little people. I thought I couldn't do something women were supposed to do and that made me feel like a failure. If I walk out of the hospital with my little girl this summer, I will feel so thankful. I will be the happiest woman in the world. And then I will be able to say that I did it. Please keep us in prayer for the remainder of our pregnancy. I need to make it at least 11 more weeks, but hopefully 12 or 13, and ideally my OB is hoping for 14 more.
What can I say? It has been busy. Since I work at a church, Lent and Easter are a busy, busy season. I was happy to have the day after Easter off! This Thursday I go for my final interview for commissioning. If all goes well, I will be commissioned in June! Please keep me in your prayers!
So with Easter, work, chasing after a two year old, normal mom and wife duties, and being pregnant, I have been busy and tired! Our little Rachel is still a Rachel. Three ultrasounds say so! We are excited! I made a registry for her, and it is so much harder to do that for a girl than it is for a boy. There is so much more stuff for girls! It is overwhelming!
This past week I started experiencing some problems with my pregnancy, and you know that worried me. Last Wednesday I was having some minor contractions. My OB said it was probably a little early for Braxton Hicks, so she wanted me to come in. She did an exam and thought I might have an incompetent cervix (means premature delivery - oh no! not again!). She sent me to the hospital to have a detailed ultrasound to check on baby Rachel. Rachel looked really good and healthy. She is even on the big side. The ultrasound tech told me that probably means I won't have preeclampsia again because preeclampsia babies are small (Yay! Great news!). I also have no symptoms at this point, and in my last pregnancy I started with symptoms around 12 weeks (Thank God). Then I had a test to check my cervix. My OB called me on Friday and wanted me to come in ASAP. My cervix, it turns out, is fine. No incompetent cervix. But my amniotic fluid levels were low. They did a non-stress test to check Rachel. Rachel was fine; moving a lot, her heartrate was good, and I was having no contractions. My OB thinks my levels were low because I was dehydrated. She ordered me to drink plenty and rest when I can, but no bedrest. I go back this Friday and we will take my gestational diabetes test to see if I have that. If I do, that could explain some of the dehydration and fluid issues. But we are trusting God that everything is okay with our little angel.
Overall, I feel pretty good. And I feel good about the news from the OB. I hardly ever drink enough when I am not pregnant, so of course it would be an issue when I have a human living inside of me taking my nutrients. I need to work on drinking more overall. I just feel blessed. It appears we have no preeclampsia, we have no incompetent cervix, and I am not at risk for pre-term labor so that all says there is no reason I should not carry Rachel to term. That makes me happy!
Carrying her to term is my goal. In February, my OB asked me at one of my appointments to make one goal for my pregnancy or delivery and she would try to help me achieve that. She said no one's delivery goes as planned, and I had a lot of hiccups with my last one. She said I can't have everything I want, but to pick something and we would focus on that part of my birthplan and try to make it happen. My goal: to bring my little girl home with me. Carrying her to term or very close to it (like 36 weeks) will help me bring her home with me. Now, that is my OB's goal. It is what we are working on. Unless you have been there, you can't possibly know how hard it is to leave your child at the hospital when you are supposed to be at home bonding. And you can't know how bad I felt delivering early. My body appeared to be a hostile environment for little people. I thought I couldn't do something women were supposed to do and that made me feel like a failure. If I walk out of the hospital with my little girl this summer, I will feel so thankful. I will be the happiest woman in the world. And then I will be able to say that I did it. Please keep us in prayer for the remainder of our pregnancy. I need to make it at least 11 more weeks, but hopefully 12 or 13, and ideally my OB is hoping for 14 more.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Update on Baby B.
It has been awhile. Things have been pretty busy. It's a lot different being pregnant when you are chasing a 2 year old around and you have a more demanding job than you did last time. But things are good here.
Things with this pregnancy started off a little rocky. And I have been pretty sick to my stomach throughout this one. Also, I have been struggling with my anemia during this pregnancy so I feel weak, dizzy, and faint pretty easily. Other than that, this pregnancy has been so different than my last one. Even though I had never been pregnant before, I felt like something was wrong the entire time. This time, even though I am chasing around Joshua and working hard, I feel so much different in a good way.
On March 1st, because we didn't want to wait for our next ultrasound, we went to an ultrasound place to see the gender of Baby B. If I waited for my next appointment at the OB, we would have missed all the spring/summer consignment sales in our area. I learned really quickly with Josh that consignment is the way to go to buy clothes. They outgrow their clothes so quickly! Plus, since the baby is due in August (we are probably looking at late July) we wouldn't need a lot of summer clothes. I decided that I would rather Mom and I buy the baby's clothes, so that shower gifts could be for the other stuff we would need.
So the verdict was.....Baby B. is a.....GIRL!!!! I am excited. I have felt this whole time like it was a girl. I was secretly hoping for a boy so Josh would have a brother, but I am really excited about this. I get to buy dresses and hairbows! I can't wait! Matt wanted a girl, Matt's parents wanted a girl, and my mom wanted a girl. Joshua also said he wanted a sister, but I think it's because he doesn't want to share his toys. But he will be a great big brother. He will want to teach his sister everything! I am kind of skeptical about whether or not the ultrasound was right or not. I have a fear that it might not be right. I was almost 18 weeks when I had the ultrasound done. Now, I am 20 1/2 weeks. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. If they do my ultrasound, I will be anxious to see what the verdict is. But all the stuff we bought at the consignment sales is not returnable! That would be my luck. We will have to wait and see. I may have an ultrasound at my appointment tomorrow. It depends on a couple of things. If Baby B. really is a girl, then her name will be Rachel Elizabeth. I think I would be disappointed if it wasn't a girl. I will update again soon, especially if there is a change in baby's gender.
Things with this pregnancy started off a little rocky. And I have been pretty sick to my stomach throughout this one. Also, I have been struggling with my anemia during this pregnancy so I feel weak, dizzy, and faint pretty easily. Other than that, this pregnancy has been so different than my last one. Even though I had never been pregnant before, I felt like something was wrong the entire time. This time, even though I am chasing around Joshua and working hard, I feel so much different in a good way.
On March 1st, because we didn't want to wait for our next ultrasound, we went to an ultrasound place to see the gender of Baby B. If I waited for my next appointment at the OB, we would have missed all the spring/summer consignment sales in our area. I learned really quickly with Josh that consignment is the way to go to buy clothes. They outgrow their clothes so quickly! Plus, since the baby is due in August (we are probably looking at late July) we wouldn't need a lot of summer clothes. I decided that I would rather Mom and I buy the baby's clothes, so that shower gifts could be for the other stuff we would need.
So the verdict was.....Baby B. is a.....GIRL!!!! I am excited. I have felt this whole time like it was a girl. I was secretly hoping for a boy so Josh would have a brother, but I am really excited about this. I get to buy dresses and hairbows! I can't wait! Matt wanted a girl, Matt's parents wanted a girl, and my mom wanted a girl. Joshua also said he wanted a sister, but I think it's because he doesn't want to share his toys. But he will be a great big brother. He will want to teach his sister everything! I am kind of skeptical about whether or not the ultrasound was right or not. I have a fear that it might not be right. I was almost 18 weeks when I had the ultrasound done. Now, I am 20 1/2 weeks. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. If they do my ultrasound, I will be anxious to see what the verdict is. But all the stuff we bought at the consignment sales is not returnable! That would be my luck. We will have to wait and see. I may have an ultrasound at my appointment tomorrow. It depends on a couple of things. If Baby B. really is a girl, then her name will be Rachel Elizabeth. I think I would be disappointed if it wasn't a girl. I will update again soon, especially if there is a change in baby's gender.
Monday, January 9, 2012
New Year, New Plans, New Journey
This is completely unacceptable! This has been the longest I believe I have ever gone without blogging! Well hopefully that will not be the case this year. One of my goals for this year (I make goals for the new year instead of resolutions) is to blog at least twice a month. I want to stay in better contact with the people in my life. So I will try my hardest to be committed to this.
I had a busy fall. I submitted my questions for commissioning the day before my birthday. I am supposed to meet with the board of ordained ministry sometime between February 7 and 9 to interview. Then I should find out if I will be commissioned in June. It sure was a relief to get all that stuff done, and I felt pretty good about most of it. I also had my second charge conference in October and it went well. And then it was time to get ready to celebrate the holiday season, and boy, did we ever have a busy one! But it was very nice and very enjoyable.
On Thanksgiving, I got pretty sick. In fact, we left my mom's early because I was flushed, nauseous, light-headed and had a horrible headache. One week later, on December 1, I turned a pregnancy test positive! Matt and I are having a baby! I suspected I might be. One test before that was negative and another one looked like it might want to turn positive, but I was unsure. It was wonderful to wake Matt up that morning (he works 2nd shift now), and say "hey, look at this!" We are so excited. But I am a little nervous given my last experience.
We told Matt's parents and my sister. I had a plan to tell my parents in a different way. I ordered Josh a shirt that said "I have a secret" on the front, and on the back it says "I'm going to be a big brother." I figured my mom would like that. I knew it would be hard to win her over after my last experience. She thinks I can't handle being pregnant. Well, our plans changed on December 8. I started bleeding and cramping. We went to spend about 9 hours in the ER just to find out my pregnancy hormone levels were low and I could be miscarrying. My appointment with my OB was for the 12th. I was put on bedrest for the weekend, and I worried. I had to tell my parents then because we needed them to keep Josh. I couldn't lift him.
At my OB appointment on the 12th, we found out that there was no pregnancy in my uterus on the 8th, but she found it on the 12th. She took blood to test my hormone levels on Monday and I went back that Wednesday for more blood work. My pregnancy hormone continued to rise, which is what we wanted. We set an appointment for January 3 for another ultrasound. She said if there was no heartbear we would know where the pregnancy is headed. On January 3rd (also Matt's and my anniversary) we went to the OB. The ultrasound showed a baby that had started to look like a baby, and right away we found the heartbeat. I was so relieved! Thank God! I was measuring right about 9 weeks. That surprised my OB because she was expecting me to measure younger/earlier than what we initially thought (based on my cycle), but I really was only about 4-5 days off from counting from the first day of my last period. But we found the baby and the heartbeat and that is all that matters! My tentative due date is around August 9.
We are so excited and a little nervous at the same time. But we know God is in control. We were not actively trying. I felt that if God wanted me to have another biological child, he was going to have to make it happen. I feel much different about this pregnancy. Even though I had never been pregnant before, during my last pregnancy, something felt off the whole time. It didn't feel right, and it didn't surprise me that something was wrong. But this one feels much different, and no matter what, God is in control. We will most likely delivery Baby Baird 2 via c-section, even if he/she does not come early. I have a 70 -75% chance of having a successful vaginal delivery, but there is still that chance that I could have a uterine rupture and end up getting an emergency c-section anyway. Doing it this way, we can schedule our c-section (unless it comes early), know when the baby is coming, go in early in the morning and have a baby a few hours later. I like that. Plus having a c-section will allow my OB to deliver me instead of going back to a big practice that keeps a doctor in the hospital.
Those of you who know me well, or who have read my blogs, know I was upset about what I missed last time. Joshua was born at 33 1/2 weeks. I had started to dilate and efface, but no active labor. My water never broke. I had to have a c-section. And then I left my baby in the hospital for 37 days. I was sad and angry. But since then I have heard several people say I should be thankful I missed labor. I am still sad about missing out on natural birth, but I have had one c-section so I know what to expect. This time I plan to pick up some of the things I missed last time, while not being bitter about the c-section. I hope to give birth to a normal sized child as close to term as possible. And my other goal is to leave the hospital this summer with my newborn in my arms. I do not want to miss any of the firsts I missed while Josh was in the hospital. I don't want another child to have to be poked and prodded because of preeclampsia. I hope to follow my birth plan this time. But even if it doesn't work out the way I want it to, I know God is in control. He took care of Joshua and he will take care of our new angel.
I would appreciate your prayers throughout my pregnancy. So far, I have no symptoms of preeclampsia. It is early yet, but in my last pregnancy I had my first UTI by now. Please pray that no matter what we will have a healthy baby. Thank you!
I had a busy fall. I submitted my questions for commissioning the day before my birthday. I am supposed to meet with the board of ordained ministry sometime between February 7 and 9 to interview. Then I should find out if I will be commissioned in June. It sure was a relief to get all that stuff done, and I felt pretty good about most of it. I also had my second charge conference in October and it went well. And then it was time to get ready to celebrate the holiday season, and boy, did we ever have a busy one! But it was very nice and very enjoyable.
On Thanksgiving, I got pretty sick. In fact, we left my mom's early because I was flushed, nauseous, light-headed and had a horrible headache. One week later, on December 1, I turned a pregnancy test positive! Matt and I are having a baby! I suspected I might be. One test before that was negative and another one looked like it might want to turn positive, but I was unsure. It was wonderful to wake Matt up that morning (he works 2nd shift now), and say "hey, look at this!" We are so excited. But I am a little nervous given my last experience.
We told Matt's parents and my sister. I had a plan to tell my parents in a different way. I ordered Josh a shirt that said "I have a secret" on the front, and on the back it says "I'm going to be a big brother." I figured my mom would like that. I knew it would be hard to win her over after my last experience. She thinks I can't handle being pregnant. Well, our plans changed on December 8. I started bleeding and cramping. We went to spend about 9 hours in the ER just to find out my pregnancy hormone levels were low and I could be miscarrying. My appointment with my OB was for the 12th. I was put on bedrest for the weekend, and I worried. I had to tell my parents then because we needed them to keep Josh. I couldn't lift him.
At my OB appointment on the 12th, we found out that there was no pregnancy in my uterus on the 8th, but she found it on the 12th. She took blood to test my hormone levels on Monday and I went back that Wednesday for more blood work. My pregnancy hormone continued to rise, which is what we wanted. We set an appointment for January 3 for another ultrasound. She said if there was no heartbear we would know where the pregnancy is headed. On January 3rd (also Matt's and my anniversary) we went to the OB. The ultrasound showed a baby that had started to look like a baby, and right away we found the heartbeat. I was so relieved! Thank God! I was measuring right about 9 weeks. That surprised my OB because she was expecting me to measure younger/earlier than what we initially thought (based on my cycle), but I really was only about 4-5 days off from counting from the first day of my last period. But we found the baby and the heartbeat and that is all that matters! My tentative due date is around August 9.
We are so excited and a little nervous at the same time. But we know God is in control. We were not actively trying. I felt that if God wanted me to have another biological child, he was going to have to make it happen. I feel much different about this pregnancy. Even though I had never been pregnant before, during my last pregnancy, something felt off the whole time. It didn't feel right, and it didn't surprise me that something was wrong. But this one feels much different, and no matter what, God is in control. We will most likely delivery Baby Baird 2 via c-section, even if he/she does not come early. I have a 70 -75% chance of having a successful vaginal delivery, but there is still that chance that I could have a uterine rupture and end up getting an emergency c-section anyway. Doing it this way, we can schedule our c-section (unless it comes early), know when the baby is coming, go in early in the morning and have a baby a few hours later. I like that. Plus having a c-section will allow my OB to deliver me instead of going back to a big practice that keeps a doctor in the hospital.
Those of you who know me well, or who have read my blogs, know I was upset about what I missed last time. Joshua was born at 33 1/2 weeks. I had started to dilate and efface, but no active labor. My water never broke. I had to have a c-section. And then I left my baby in the hospital for 37 days. I was sad and angry. But since then I have heard several people say I should be thankful I missed labor. I am still sad about missing out on natural birth, but I have had one c-section so I know what to expect. This time I plan to pick up some of the things I missed last time, while not being bitter about the c-section. I hope to give birth to a normal sized child as close to term as possible. And my other goal is to leave the hospital this summer with my newborn in my arms. I do not want to miss any of the firsts I missed while Josh was in the hospital. I don't want another child to have to be poked and prodded because of preeclampsia. I hope to follow my birth plan this time. But even if it doesn't work out the way I want it to, I know God is in control. He took care of Joshua and he will take care of our new angel.
I would appreciate your prayers throughout my pregnancy. So far, I have no symptoms of preeclampsia. It is early yet, but in my last pregnancy I had my first UTI by now. Please pray that no matter what we will have a healthy baby. Thank you!
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