We are so excited. Josh will be coming home this week! If not tomorrow then probably Wednesday. I cannot tell you how good this feels. It is such a horrible feeling to be away from your baby, especially your new baby. It's even worse being away from him under these conditions and when he is first born. We should have had our baby at home with us, spending this last month bonding.
But our wait is almost over! Josh will be here soon. This past month has been busy and difficult. I can't believe it has been one month already. Tomorrow our little boy will be one month old! It would be even better if he was home to celebrate that with us! I am thankful that the doctors and nurses at the hospital have taken such good care of him. I have had the past month to rest and to get Josh's room ready.
I can't believe how much we had left to do when I went into labor! There were six weeks left and I thought I would get to take advantage of those six weeks. Everything is ready now though. Matt and I have been putting things together. This house looks so funny with the crib ready, the bouncy seat, the swing, and the play pen all put together and ready to go with no baby. We even tested out his baby monitor the other night. He absolutely has everything here he needs. We are so blessed! And even more blessed that our baby is okay.
Josh is doing so well. We are so proud of our little monkey. There have been good days and bad days. One of the NICU nurses warned us when Josh was less than a week old that there would be a few steps forward and then one or two backward. It has definitely been that way. We have seen him improve so much and then watched something discouraging happen. But Josh has fought hard to get to where he is. He has gained his weight. He is doing so much better with his breathing. Josh is a good eater and sleeper. And he is hardly fussy. We have such a good baby. And Josh is absolutely beautiful, and we are not just biased. He really is a beautiful baby.
The hardest part for me has been the whole experience of going back and forth to the hospital. I hate hospitals anyway, but it is hard to go see your child there. And it really isn't fair that we have only been spending a couple hours a day with our baby. The worst part for me is going into the hospital and seeing a woman being wheeled out with her newborn baby. I knew we would run into that and I have seen it about 4 times. I feel robbed that I didn't get that experience. But tomorrow or Wednesday I should be walking out of the hospital with my own baby, and for that I am incredibly thankful. Thankful for the fact that my baby is alive and healthy. Thankful that he is doing so well. Thankful that he is coming home to be with us where he belongs. And most importantly, thankful that I will not have to go to the hospital to see my baby and scrub down for two minutes just so I can touch him. But Josh is coming home this week and that is all that matters to us!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Life with Josh
Things have been hectic since Josh has arrived! We were not totally ready for Josh at home so we have been rushing to get ready for him at home. Once we get a diaper genie we will be finished! I can't wait to get him home and in his room where he belongs.
Josh is doing so well now. We are so proud of him. After his birth he went on the ventilator. He came off less than 12 hours later. The Monday after his birth they did a chest x-ray and found out he had pneumonia. He went back on the ventilator for a few days. He is now off and has been for more than a week and a half. After the ventilator he was on nasal oxygen for awhile. He has been off oxygen for three days and is doing wonderfully. He is gaining weight and now he is eating from a bottle. His feeding tube is out and everything is looking good. Our little boy just needs to gain weight so he can come home.
Matt and I got to hold him for the first time a week ago Sunday. That was one of the best moments of my life. He feels bigger than you think he would be. And he is so alert now. I am just amazed at how well he is doing. And I am so thankful that he is okay. I feel really blessed because this could have turned out badly. Today we get to feed him a bottle for the first time. The nurses are helping us get ready for him coming home. Joshua could be home for Thanksgiving. That would be the best thing in the world.
I am doing well. I have appreciated this chance to get to rest. I have healed up nicely from my c-section. Matt has been a wonderful help. I just wish I could have brought my little boy home with me. This has been really rough on me. The whole thing has been very hard. We went to the hospital that Saturday night not planning on staying. We weren't ready for Josh to come. And I feel a little cheated. I didn't get to experience real labor and I had to have a c-section. And now my child has spent two weeks and one day in the NICU and I imagine he will be there for at least another week. I felt so bad that he was so tiny. I have felt like all of this is my fault and that I could have done something more. No mother imagines the birth of their child, especially their first, happening like this. And everyone says I should be happy to have this time to rest, and I am thankful for it, but I would give anything to have Josh at home with us.
I am not going to dwell on what has happened. I am just thankful that he has come so far and is doing so well. And I have a lot to be thankful for. I can't wait for the day when he can come home. I know that day is coming soon. Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for Josh to get stronger and bigger.
Josh is doing so well now. We are so proud of him. After his birth he went on the ventilator. He came off less than 12 hours later. The Monday after his birth they did a chest x-ray and found out he had pneumonia. He went back on the ventilator for a few days. He is now off and has been for more than a week and a half. After the ventilator he was on nasal oxygen for awhile. He has been off oxygen for three days and is doing wonderfully. He is gaining weight and now he is eating from a bottle. His feeding tube is out and everything is looking good. Our little boy just needs to gain weight so he can come home.
Matt and I got to hold him for the first time a week ago Sunday. That was one of the best moments of my life. He feels bigger than you think he would be. And he is so alert now. I am just amazed at how well he is doing. And I am so thankful that he is okay. I feel really blessed because this could have turned out badly. Today we get to feed him a bottle for the first time. The nurses are helping us get ready for him coming home. Joshua could be home for Thanksgiving. That would be the best thing in the world.
I am doing well. I have appreciated this chance to get to rest. I have healed up nicely from my c-section. Matt has been a wonderful help. I just wish I could have brought my little boy home with me. This has been really rough on me. The whole thing has been very hard. We went to the hospital that Saturday night not planning on staying. We weren't ready for Josh to come. And I feel a little cheated. I didn't get to experience real labor and I had to have a c-section. And now my child has spent two weeks and one day in the NICU and I imagine he will be there for at least another week. I felt so bad that he was so tiny. I have felt like all of this is my fault and that I could have done something more. No mother imagines the birth of their child, especially their first, happening like this. And everyone says I should be happy to have this time to rest, and I am thankful for it, but I would give anything to have Josh at home with us.
I am not going to dwell on what has happened. I am just thankful that he has come so far and is doing so well. And I have a lot to be thankful for. I can't wait for the day when he can come home. I know that day is coming soon. Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for Josh to get stronger and bigger.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Baby Josh is here!!
Baby Josh has decided to grace us with his presence! I was not at all expecting to have a baby before 34 weeks, and I honestly believe the doctors did not intend to let me deliver before 36 weeks. But Saturday night Josh had his own idea.
We knew Josh was ready to come out, just not this ready! Saturday I started having some bad cramping. It got worse as the day went on. Then Saturday evening back pain started and I was doubled over in pain late at night. Matt begged to take me to the ER. I finally agreed to go about 1 AM.
When we got to the ER they sent us straight up to labor and delivery. I was hooked up to monitors and found out that I was having bad contractions. They decided to run some tests. Dilating had just started and my cervix was more than halfway thinned out. They did a pre-term labor test which is the same one I had at my last appointment. It showed that Josh was going to come on his own within two weeks. They finally gave me some drugs and we were under the impression that they were going to stop the labor and send me home with pills.
Then they started to look and found out that I was at a high risk for preeclampsia. They diagnosed me with that and said we would have to deliver some time soon but they were keeping me in the hospital for a few days and then I would be sent home and put on bedrest until Josh came in a couple weeks. While we were waiting on a final decision we saw a second doctor from our office.
After much deliberation, both doctors decided I had to deliver then. Dr. Carter came in and told us around 8 Sunday morning that he needed to come and that we would have a baby by the end of the morning. I freaked out, but he said it needed to happen and that Josh would be okay.
They got things going and wheeled me down to the OR. They had a problem giving me the epidural. They tried four times. And boy was it painful! But once I was numb, I was good and numb. They cut me open and Josh came at 9:56 am on November 1, 2009. He was small, but the doctors said he looked good. We got to see him and then they took my baby to the NICU. He weighed 3 pounds 7 ounces and was 17 inches long. He is so adorable! I can't believe he is here. Welcome to the world Josh!
We knew Josh was ready to come out, just not this ready! Saturday I started having some bad cramping. It got worse as the day went on. Then Saturday evening back pain started and I was doubled over in pain late at night. Matt begged to take me to the ER. I finally agreed to go about 1 AM.
When we got to the ER they sent us straight up to labor and delivery. I was hooked up to monitors and found out that I was having bad contractions. They decided to run some tests. Dilating had just started and my cervix was more than halfway thinned out. They did a pre-term labor test which is the same one I had at my last appointment. It showed that Josh was going to come on his own within two weeks. They finally gave me some drugs and we were under the impression that they were going to stop the labor and send me home with pills.
Then they started to look and found out that I was at a high risk for preeclampsia. They diagnosed me with that and said we would have to deliver some time soon but they were keeping me in the hospital for a few days and then I would be sent home and put on bedrest until Josh came in a couple weeks. While we were waiting on a final decision we saw a second doctor from our office.
After much deliberation, both doctors decided I had to deliver then. Dr. Carter came in and told us around 8 Sunday morning that he needed to come and that we would have a baby by the end of the morning. I freaked out, but he said it needed to happen and that Josh would be okay.
They got things going and wheeled me down to the OR. They had a problem giving me the epidural. They tried four times. And boy was it painful! But once I was numb, I was good and numb. They cut me open and Josh came at 9:56 am on November 1, 2009. He was small, but the doctors said he looked good. We got to see him and then they took my baby to the NICU. He weighed 3 pounds 7 ounces and was 17 inches long. He is so adorable! I can't believe he is here. Welcome to the world Josh!
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