Today I am a new woman; a woman with options! Yesterday I had no options. But today, a new world of possibilities have been presented to me. A day really can change so much! This may not be a big deal to some, but it's a big deal to me.
I had my appointment with my OB today. If I haven't mentioned that I love my OB, well, now you know. She is remarkable! Switching and making her the provider of my female care was the best decision I made. I just felt I needed to get a new doctor after Joshua and his situation. It wasn't because I was mad at them or didn't trust them, although they did do me wrong. My decision was because of the bad memories I would have. God was looking out for me in this decision!
So we got some news today. My OB is pleased with my progress and she is encouraged that we are going to make it! Praise God! No signs of preeclampsia! Again, praise God! I had a physical exam today and am a little more than a centimeter dialated. My cervix is low and soft and getting ready to go. And then the surprising news: baby girl has dropped and is in birth position. My OB felt her head! My OB has scheduled my c-section for July 30 because medically she cannot schedule it sooner without a reason, and I am giving her no reason. On the 30th, I will be 39 weeks and 2 days, but she does not think I will go that long! She thinks I will surprise her, like I have been my whole pregnancy. She thinks I will go into labor on my own before the 30th.
So what does that mean? If I go into labor on my own and progress nicely, I may be able to have Rachel, actually give birth to her! If you know my story and experience with Josh, you know this is a big deal. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. It unnerves me that we know the day Rachel could be born, but that I may not make it to that point. I could go into labor any time really. My OB says it could be in about 3 weeks, which puts me at 37 1/2 weeks! Wow!
I am not trying to get my hopes up, but I can possibly have options now. And the best part is that these options can be on my terms. If labor gets too hard or I am not progressing like I would like to be, I can ask for the c-section. I have another appointment on July 9. We will talk about it more then. The doctor was going to check to make sure that my interior scar is horizontal because she wasn't sure since she didn't do it. If that scar is vertical, it throws my chances out the window. If my scar is horizontal then I think we need to talk about some pros and cons and some realistic goals and expectations for me to have if I go into labor on my own. If I don't go into labor by the 30th, then none of this is an issue.
If you know me well, you know this may have been difficult for me to hear. I am such a planner by nature. And the plan has been from the beginning to have a c-section. I have been dreading it, mainly the anesthesia, but have prepared myself because I have gotten through it before. I also have been telling myself that if I didn't have preeclampsia this time, then recovery would start out easier. I have prepared myself for the c-section so much that the thought of something else disrupted my planning nature. It was such a shock! Plus, this has been what I wanted so bad for so long, if it doesn't happen I don't want to be crushed. I don't want to go through 18 hours of labor, just for it to end in an emergency section. This is a decision that Matt and I will be talking about over the next few days. I don't have to try labor, but I might be able to. Stay tuned to see what happens.
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