Pregnancy Blues

I was supposed to go to the doctor on Monday for my gestational diabetes test. I got there just to find out there had been a mistake. They were not doing diabetes testing this week and no one called to let me know. But I stayed for my regular appointment. Everything looked good. I am finally gaining weight. And I hate that part. I hate things not fitting. Since I had extra weight on me the doctor gave me a weight limit. He would be comfortable with me gaining 16 more pounds. I have less than four months to go so I can't gain more than a pound a week which I don't even see myself doing that, so that is great! That is a relief. I was worried about gaining too much weight because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get it off. Plus, I have extra weight I need to get off.

So I go back Monday, September 14 for my diabetes testing. Not looking forward to drinking that stuff at all. That feels like the last major hurdle to overcome. I hope I don't have gestational diabetes, but I know it is very manageable.

My hang up right now is the blues. I guess it is normal. But I cry so easily and so often. It can be such an inconvenience. And sometimes I don't even know why I cry. I know it is troubling for Matt. But Matt is being wonderful through the whole process. He is at the stage where he doesn't like me doing too much because he is afraid I will hurt myself or Josh. He likes me to sit with my feet propped up whenever I can. He is so afraid that I will deliver early.

I am apparently at risk for early delivery, and we know several people who have delivered early. Matt has a co-worker whose wife delivered at 21 weeks and the baby died. We also recently found out that our pastor's wife delivered their daughter at 29 weeks, but she survived. I am 24 weeks right now. I am not at all prepared to think of Josh being here in 5 weeks. I don't want Josh making an entrance before my birthday, and my birthday will put me at almost 33 weeks. If Josh has to come early, I hope and pray it is not before 35 weeks. If I can go 35 weeks, I will be ok. But that puts Josh here before Thanksgiving and I was really hoping he would still be in utero during Thanksgiving so I would have an excuse to eat!

I also don't want to be like my mom. My mom carried me about three weeks late. That would most likely put Josh here after the new year. That would disappoint Matt. He wants his tax break. And I don't want him to be that late. I am pretty sure our baby will be big. Matt was 24 inches long at birth. I was almost 9 pounds, but the doctors said it was because I was so late. Our son already has long legs for the stage of pregnancy I am at. I am just not wanting him to be huge. And I pray almost daily that this baby does not have a large head. I am a little apprehensive about him coming out. And I am just as apprehensive of thinking about having to have a c-section. I am sure it will all work out. I just need to not stress myself out over those little details. The day Josh gets here will be a wonderful day, no matter how or when he makes his entrance!